verse for the year

Luke 1:9 is my verse for 2007.

"...according to the custom of the priesthood, his lot fell to burn incense when he went into the temple of the Lord,"

Or Young's Literal Translation: "... his lot was to make perfume, having gone into the sanctuary of the Lord,"

I was praying about our youth ministry worship team, and that's what the Lord gave me ... not the whole verse, just the citation. I had to look it up. I was a little disappointed for a second, but then I read it again. What an honor that must have been to be divinely chosen to burn incense, make perfume, and bring worship before the Lord. Of course, we're all called to do that (Hebrews 13:15), but the Lord picks worship leaders (and I don't mean just me, I mean our whole little team). I guess it was a nice confirmation for me: He's chosen us for this in this hour.

So I shared this with the team, and we're working our ways through a devotional on humility and servanthood. I'm believing this is going to do good things in all of us.

Yesterday I got the call. THE call. I got the job I inquired about last week. It's going to be quite a little pay cut, but I just know it's the Lord. It's also going to mean Monday, Wednesday, and Friday afternoons off for the most part, which is too amazing for words. I've been thinking about what I can do with the time ... more recently I've been praying about what to do with the time (it's not mine anyway, right?). Luke 1:9 keeps coming back to me. I think this is it.

Revelation 5:8//Now when He had taken the scroll, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb, each having a harp, and golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints.

anger

I got a strange email yesterday. I don't know if you remember this guy, but he randomly posted a very immature comment after my applauding a youth group (in Florida, I think?) for standing up for decency. I don't know this guy, and hadn't electronically communicated with him in any fashion for a month. Yesterday I got this:

Science cannot fail. It doesn't try to explain anything. It is just a logical tool.

I ain't angry, I'm merely overwhelmingly contemptuous of your inability to face the reality of your imminent permanent extinction.

Actually, I am angry that your type tells everybody what to do all the time. Leave us alone to live our lives, while you waste yours dreaming of winged sky people burning bushes on mountains.

I have a college degree in biology. What have you got? Shadows in a cave. Tardwad.

This is depressing: people live like this day to day. Overcome with anger for people they don't know for reasons that don't concern them at all (because I didn't approach him - I merely responded to his outburst). What must be the condition of a heart that could be "overwhelmingly contemptuous" of someone else's hope and faith?

2 Timothy 3:1-4//But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God ...

I could give pointed rebuttal, but as stated some weeks ago: I'm not really interested.

2 Timothy 2:3//But avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife.

I will exort the reader to prayer for this guy (I think his name is Peter), and I will answer his question: peace.


Okay, okay. And I will post a nifty little Battle Cry video.

letter to the editor

I submitted this to the Northwest Herald this morning. I could have gone on, but they won't print it unless it is 200 words or less. It's exactly 200. Count 'em.

Dear Illinois Legislature:

I would like to propose a statewide ban on women in SUVs. I am drafting a bill on my lunch breaks that would make it illegal for any woman to own or operate an SUV.

I know some women have the capacity and self-control to be behind the wheel of an SUV, but the ratio is too small to continue endangering the remainder of Illinois’ motorists.

Every time I have ever been the target of a rude gesture from someone who did not understand the right of way at a merge, every time someone has ever swerved wildly into the right lane to blow past me just in time to cut me off and come to a dead stop in front of me in a left turn lane … it has been a woman in an SUV.

I am sure if I could convince the government to fund another obvious study, we would come to a conclusion similar to, “… high vantage points and testosterone-driven marketing combined with a functioning emotional bank results in road rage in nine out of 10 cases.”

Women who drive SUVs rationally: I salute you, but please, take one for the team.

besides the baby

There's still a lot going on.

Friday night we had 39 teenagers at Switch. If that's not a record, it's got to be close. It was one of those services where 20 minutes before Go time, in the natural, all signs point to No. That's when He assists, though, and it always surprises me. We added one to the Kingdom of Light, and seriously dented the liberal brain-washing of a few others whose friends had faithfully drug them out to the meeting against their own wishes.

Saturday morning was a ministry meeting. There's no lack of vision on the worship team, that's for sure. Saturday afternoon was a marketing meeting that I felt totally out of place at. I took maybe two marketing classes in college, don't currently work in marketing, nor own a business. I'm also not on a diet. Not sure why I was there, but it was fun.

Sunday morning was a great message. Pastor talked about making more room for Holy Spirit in my life. I've been trying to do that, but I just don't think I'm doing enough. I need to hear that message monthly, I think, just to remind me to stay on track with that.

Sunday morning was also the first Sunday morning Timothy and I were assigned for alter ministry. No one really wants to pray with the youth leaders ever, which is okay. I used to watch our old youth pastor and his wife stand patiently at the alter ever Sunday as people lined up to pray with the "elders." We had two brave souls, though - one was our buddy Titus, and one was a nice young woman who got tired of waiting. It was good, though; believe it or not, Holy Spirit can move through 20-somethings. *grin*

In the meantime, I've been thinking a lot about Zacharias (Luke 1, Zacharias). I'm not going to tell you why, though, because I'm going to talk to my team about it Saturday. Zacharias ... and Martin Luther as I delicately leaf through a 50+ year old version of Here I Stand.

baby pictures?

Okay, so evidently the pictures didn't work. Let's try again.

Let me know if you can see those. Although if you're on Tim's mailing list, you've been sent pictures by now anyway. They announced her name Friday night and Sunday morning, but if you missed it, this is Kaitlyn Jane Krauss.

Baby K Pictures!

Okay, so blogger wasn't real quick on the draw last night. Here are pictures!

Sleeping on Grandpa Leeroy

Center of Attention

With Mommy

Behind the Scenes

Not Happy

So there you have her. Baby K. Who, by now I'm told has a name, but there's no way they were going to tell me because I've stolen all their news so far. Mua ha ha.

Everyone's well. Marianne is coming home Saturday. Baby is an absolute doll who evidently adores her grandpa already. I'm sure Tim will make the professional photographs available soon. Oh, and apparently the maternity staff at NIMC in McHenry is great ... if anyone's in the area and shopping.

baby updates

I just talked to the new daddy. Everyone's good.

Baby K was born at 2:30 this morning. She's 8 pounds, 12 ounces ... a little bigger than they thought she was going to be! She's 21.25" long. Tim said she looked almost Asian at first (which is funny because her grandparents are missionaries in China): really dark hair, long nails and lashes. She's got good color and seems to be very happy with the whole situation. Cutie.

Marianne's doing well. For those of you who were at church last night when we got the prayer request - that answer manifested almost immediately. Go Jehovah. There was a lot of pushing, and Marianne's a little tired, but doing well. She never allowed the doctors to administer drugs of any kind. She'll need a little healing, but nothing major ... if you want to direct further prayers for the family in that direction.

Continue standing by for pictures.

stand by

If you were with me last night and you're looking for the ninja, I put him on my battle cry. I'm going to visit the new baby K on lunch, so when I get to a WiFi zone tonight I'll post pictures. Stand by.

cop out

It's not even like I don't have anything to type about. We started Omega last night - I think I've linked Omega more than anything else on this silly blog. It was great: 45 minute video and two hours of conversation. We covered everything too; I wonder what we could possibly talk about next week. We started at the positive events of the end times and ended up in a dialogue about the sovereignty of God vs. free will and omnipotence vs. the power of prayer. I was exhausted.

I'm also in the middle of a great teaching Misty Edwards gave at the recent Onething conference. It's really, really good and I could tell you all about it ... and maybe I will ... tomorrow.

Right now I'm tired. The analogy I recently gave a friend was, "It's kind of like being run over by a car again and again and again ... pretty soon there's just no bones left to break so what does it really matter if it happens one more time?"

Three years ago this would have been okay. I would have slipped into the low end of the bi-polar wave and cried myself to sleep for a few weeks. Now I'm free ... and I know I'm free. I don't have to do that anymore and I don't want to, but really, it would be easier. Now I ask the Lord to humble my heart, and now I practice praying for those who spitefully use me. I pray the Lord show me that the lesson here is to love my enemy. "Enemy" might be a strong word, but its the same idea.

All that said, this walrus does sit ups. There's some silly thing about a soccer fight and a weird ritual (that evidently doesn't work) after the walrus, because I didn't edit the video. CNN apparently ran a longer story on the walrus, but if it's on YouTube, I can't find it. There are those days when you need a walrus with a workout regimen to pick you up again. Dying to self is easier when there's a large marine mammal doing push-ups, that's just a general rule.

video

This is from the 1940s ... I don't have an exact date, but I have reason to believe it's 1943. Not sure I agree with the pre-tribulation rapture idea presented, but it's fun all the same. I wish I had statistics on this. Something like "Three out of every five individuals who saw this gave their lives to Christ on the spot." (There's also some anti-Hillsong message at the end - I don't agree with that either. I like Hillsong. The person that made this video available on YouTube has some strange agenda ... but whatever. We'll all get over ourselves and the video will still be funny.)

weekend

Where do the weekends go? This here post is a catch-up for the out-of-towners. If you see me several times a week, you may be bored by the ensuing post.

I am going to India. I needed to know by the weekend, and - true to form - the Lord answered in the 11th hour. It wasn't literally the 11th hour; I think it was closer to 4:30pm. In a meeting with my boss the Holy Spirit pressed me to ask for an extra two weeks of unpaid vacation time in August. I'm very intimidated by my boss, and can honestly report that it's something I never would have asked him if not for a gripping fear of the Lord at that moment. Honestly, I hope it doesn't come down to that anyway. I hope I'm out of this job long before August ... but that's a whole seperate issue. (Unless you really feel called to finance a worshipper/youth worship leader and otherwise CITW volunteer. Then it's not a seperate issue at all, and you should talk to me. Ha.)

We introduced another teenager to his Hope and Salvation Friday night. I never get tired of that. I'd like to see more, but we're proving ourselves faithful with little right now. I think we're doing well with it, too.

Friday was also 12 hours of prayer. Pride made an appearance again, followed closely by its good friend, Condemnation. Maybe not. I wasn't really feeling condemned, as much as I was just disgusted again. I thought about leaving before my 2am prayer time - Titus could have handled it just fine without me and I was feeling too gross to put a mic to my face. Instead, I dozed off on a row of chairs for 20 minutes and woke up at five minutes to 2. I took my place at the piano and hope it availed more in other people than it did in me ... not that there were many people still around at 2am.

My husband and I are making headway (finally) on a design for the boxes of black hoodies that have been sitting in our apartment for months. Something finally motivated him, so he's off and running, and we should have those relatively soon. I know I'm excited.

pride

I am the most prideful person I know.

This is my battle currently. I knew, obviously, that there's pride in me, but I stared at it last night and it's worse than I thought. It really is disgusting.

It's irritating when three year olds get on a "why" kick; it's really irritating (to my flesh - disclaimer) when Holy Spirit does it. I love Him; I know He's helping me. My flesh hates it. It brings the deeper motives for everything I do into the light, and, yes, better they're brought to the light on this side of eternity but that doesn't make it less painful.

How much of everything that I do, do I do for the Lord? Not how many things of my laundry list of tasks per day do I accomplish for Him (1 point for worship practice, -1 point for dishes). Of each single thing I do for Him, how much am I really doing for Him? Fasting, for example. What is my motive? Is 99% of my motive to draw near my Creator and submit my will to His, and 1% of my motive to gain the approval of my church leaders? Because that's not good enough. Is my heart really to serve, or to be seen as a servant?

The thing about pride is that its such a painfully obvious thorn that you just have to deal with it. You can't pretend you didn't know it was there because it points itself out. If I look at someone and get a knot in my stomach because I'm irritated at his pride ... that's probably my pride whining about how he has nothing to be so proud about. Ouch. (Of course I'm sure there are circumstances wherein someone may have a word of knowledge about someone else struggling with pride, or a spirit of discerning on the matter, but if it's God it will be compassionate instead of annoying.)

Complications on the matter:
False humility is also pride.
A poor self-image is not the same thing as humility.

So I'm working on this.

last night

Last night was a blast and a half. Also a revelation on how old I am. How old am I?

1. A new friend is an event. When you don't spend everyday surrounded by hundreds of like minded peers (i.e. college), the chances of meeting someone that you actually get along with drop significantly. Erin is new, and I hope she sticks around.

2. It was 11pm when we left church to get food. I didn't get to bed until after midnight and was dead tired when I did. I fell asleep thinking, "Why did I do this to myself? I have to be up in five hour ... zzzz."

Highlights:

We left church after some good worship/prayer time - mostly in regard to Holy Spirit breaking through all the religious garbage in the western church. It's a common Wednesday night worship time theme because it's always on my heart and no one steps up to the prayer mic to redirect my attention. Where do you go at 11pm after some good prayer time in Elgin/Algonquin, Illinois? Denny's.

I like hanging out with Titus because he keeps the conversation focused on Christ all the time. I try, and sometimes forget, but that guy is always on. Always. We all talked about what we've been learning lately, and in the process taught ourselves and each other. I casually mentioned that Timothy and I recently invested in an Omega becuase neither one of us is ready.

Titus: "For Jesus to come back, you mean?"
Me: "Ya."
Titus: "Ya."

Quiet. It was one of those cinematic, pensive silences wherein we all calculated our standing before the soon-coming King and our position to withstand the most trying times ... not only withstand but lead others to Christ in the midst of it.

Later that evening ...

On the way home I got pulled over becuase I have a headlight out. The officer was very graceful in relinquishing what he probably though was a warning about a headlight and a ticket for an expired plate. I showed him the bulb I'd bought on my lunch break, and explained that as dumb as it sounds someone pulled the sticker off my plate and if he checks my registration he'll see I'm all up to date. He conceeded and it ended well for me.

I flipped my turn signal on and looked over my shoulder to pull away from the curb. I eased off the clutch, glanced in my mirror as the officer walked back to his car, and just as I started to drive away - I kid you not - the left headlight on the squad car blinked out. Mua ha ha.

anticipation

How much longer can this possibly go on? That's all I want to know. I can wait to find out exactly how it goes down, exactly what my role is, etc. I just want to know when. The waiting is killing me.

Everybody feels it. Everybody knows that it's right around the corner. Everyone is expecting 07 to be a banner year in so many ways. Everybody is wrestling with this holy anticipation ... this unrest in the collective Spirit of the Church that is driving His Bride to new heights, depths, lengths and widths - or at least pointing them out with a whisper of, "That's where you're headed."

And it's in my spirit because it's in His Spirit and I can't get away from it. Every morning I drive to work and plead with the Lord that today be the day. Not because I'm so anxious for the day, although I am, just because I feel like I couldn't possibly wait any longer. There has to be a break through ... not even a break through, a break open. I have a teaching by Misty Edwards that she must have given years and years ago, and at one point she makes the comment that, "sometimes I feel like any minute the sky's just going to break open and heaven's going to be there ..." Literal or physical I can't wait for this sky - this lid that we've put on the Church on the Spirit on the hope of glory, that doesn't seem like a lid because it's relatively spacious - to just break open. Do you feel that? Something has to change. Something has to happen.

And yet He tarries. He waits. He waits and He smiles at what I think is a terrible burden, at what I think is uncontainable love, at what I think is high expectations, at what I think is anticipation. He waits and He whispers to me, "This is nothing. This is nothing compared to the burden on My heart for My bride, the love in my heart, the expectation I have of you, the anticipation that stirs in Me to come to you." He waits for our heart to look like His heart. He waits to build a level of anticipation, need, desire that only He can fulfill ... and even then all of our ideas of Him will suddenly seem so small when He comes. Oh, that the Spirit and the bride would cry with one accord, with everything we are and everything we have, "Come!"

redirect

I really had nothing to tell you this morning. Nothing over the course of the weekend topped Friday night. I started to post on my Battle Cry, and in the process got what I think is a stinkin' cool little revelation. Go here.

Before you go, though, watch this. I didn't know about this, and now it's a little late. If abortion isn't overturned by next January, I'm going to try to get out there, though. Smells like a Switch worship team field trip. Eh?

the power of God on Friday night

Haha. I stole the title from Pastor. It's funny to me. Shush.

Last night was swell. I love it when Holy Spirit makes His presence known. I love it, and I want it to happen every week. What was different about this week? Hmm.

1. We were unexpectedly short one band member, and had to change the set at the last minute because we realized we really can't play one of the songs we wanted to play. When we are weak, He is strong.

2. Our team on stage was in one accord. That's huge. It's easier to do with fewer people too. Haha. One of the guys, especially, just got back from the OneThing conference and is back to being on fire for Jesus again. That helped. He was sharing notes from teachings about worship, and reading us scripture on worship before we went on stage. The testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy. When even one person on stage has other things to do and is only there because he's "on" that week ... it hinders things. We all need to be submitted.

3. There were probably 30 teenagers there and most of them were genuinely worshipping. That's the best. Even some kids we haven't seen in a while just let go of themselves and gave all they had to God.

As one member of a congregation, never underestimate your influence during a worship set. When the Holy Spirit came on Pentecost (Acts 2), the Bible says that 120 people were all in one accord. I don't know how long they waited in that upper room, but I'm sure of this: It wasn't them waiting on God to send the Holy Spirit, as much as it was God waiting on them. When every last person's heart was aligned, focused on Christ, then the power of God could move.

You don't have to feel anything, you just have to worship. If you don't feel tingly all over, get over it and sing the song. If you can't get your mind off something else, sit down for a second, give that thing to God, get over it and sing the song. If you're tired because you were up late last night, take a deep breath, remind yourself you'll probably only be standing for 20 minutes, get over it and sing the song. I knew the moment last night that one of the guys on stage with me let go (toward the end of the second song) and freedom erupted on stage. It was glorious.

As I explicate ... I think we over-complicate worship. I prayed out this little revelation at 6:55pm last night. We think we have to raise our hands during the chorus of the song, and harmonize with the vocalists during the verses. The band has to play every chord just right, and the lead singer's vibrato has to be steady. Of course no one would admit that if asked - and that's okay - but I wonder how many of us listen to the intonation of our own voices during worship more than we listen for the voice of the Lord. Worship is really a very simple phenomena: you tell God how awesome He is, He tells you how much He loves you, and everyone's heart is overcome in the process (Song of Solomon 4).

just faith

I think I'm coming to a very simple faith. I don't want to debate the existance of God, or the diety of Christ, because He's just true and if you're determined to argue about it then I'm not going to convince you anyway. I'm more than happy to quote every scripture verse I know at someone, but I'm done with the rest because it's dumb.

Every day there's just more and more of it. You can't go anywhere or post anything anywhere or represent Christ in any way without getting cussed out and/or accused of being intolerant, sexist, homophobic, war mongering, etc. I used to get all upset, but now I pray and give 'em a Bible verse before moving on. I'm sure it won't be long now before all the little anti-Christs realize their error anyway.

Brian Zahnd gave a great message a couple weeks ago called What About Doubt? He tells of asking his family one morning, "Why do you believe in God?" The answer (the only correct answer, he suggests) his son gave was, "Because it's true." He also talks about the futility to trying to prove God's existance, because to prove something's existance you compare it to something greater ... and nothing is greater than God.

So there.

And for the out-of-towners: Timothy and I are doing well. The thing that has been taking up a lot of my prayer time is this summer's trip to India. There's a need for the female half of the leadership team, and I've been invited, so that ups the ante a little more. The problem is work: it's two weeks, and I get two weeks vacation. I might be able to take a leave of absence, but I don't know if I can do that and still get vacation (because Timothy and I really need a vacation this year) or if I'll have a job when I get back (not that I'd be upset, but the money is good). The Lord won't speak on it as clearly as I'd like Him too, and an answer is needed. Keep us in your prayers.

mourning already

I was listening to Corey Russell preach on my way to work this morning. I got to track four, which I've listened to probably a hundred times, about the power of a simple, annointed gospel and prayer. About the lack of prayer, the need for prayer, the power of prayer. About my inability to do anything great without His grace. Out of no where my eyes welled up and I couldn't help but weep.

I'm not scheduled for "Blessed are those who mourn ..." until February, but I mourned. I mourned the apathy and indifference that had so subtly taken possession of my spirit. I mourned the condition of the western Church, so confident in our own riches that we deny His power. I mourned every minute of the past two and half years that I could have been in prayer, but wasted otherwise. What will become of us?

Consider and hear me, O LORD my God; Enlighten my eyes, Lest I sleep the sleep of death (Ps 13).

what time is it?

I know every Christian blogger has probably been all over this, but I want to take a big step back.

MSNBC published an article on the "blasphemy challenge." My first thought was probably the same as yours, and I started brainstorming about the most effective counter-strike. They don't care, though, and it wouldn't help anyone anyway. There are believers on YouTube posting responses, but even if it became a big, centralized campaign like the "B.C." (ironic) it still wouldn't catch the attention of the liberal American media giant.

Then there's this kind of stuff. This is Jay Bakker, son of former evangelists Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker. At first, Jay's little project, "Revolution Church," sounds like a good thing. I agree that there are entire segments of society that the Church as a whole rejects based on appearance and/or lifestyle choices. I agree that someone needs to get out there and tell them about God, but as you read you wonder which god they're hearing about. Jay unknowingly sums it all up when he states, "Pharisees can have Mohawks too." You're a Pharisee alright, man.

1 Corinthians 9:19-23//For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win the more; and to the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might win Jews; to those who are under the law, as under the law, that I might win those who are under the law; to those who are without law, as without law (not being without law toward God, but under law toward Christ), that I might win those who are without law; to the weak I became as weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all men, that I might by all means save some. Now this I do for the gospel’s sake, that I may be partaker of it with you.

Corey Russell's latest CD, Ancient Paths, features one track by a man named Allen Hood. True to the theme of the album, Allen's preaching on the end of the age, and at one point says, "The time of your ministry is over." It's too close, too desperate, too short, too important to be thinking about my preaching engagements for 07, where I'm going on the annual missions's trip, how many times my name will appear in print, or what kind of status I me mine is going to attain in my local church this year.

Do I know Him? Am I ready to stand in faith while the worst of it is crashing down around me, and am I ready to bring others to Him in the midst of it? Am I living on the watchtower or visiting from time to time? Do I live, day to day, to see His glory manifest in the earth or my own? Have I given up the deep recesses of my heart?

This thing - this time, this age, - is too big for me and it's too big for you. We need to look to Him and His plans like never before and fall in line.