Timothy and I went to our local shopping mall early this evening ... not because we like malls (Timothy especially usually can't spend more than 20 minutes in a mall without getting upset) but because Timothy had a gift card that was burning a hole in his pocket.
Craving satisfied, we began to exit the mall. Allow me to set the scene:
It's about 6pm on a Saturday, so what is normally a pretty desolate mall is full of the usual characters: thugs, punks, babies' mommas, families ... basically a decent cross section of the general populous of McHenry County. The usual furnishings adorn the center of the mall isles, although I admit I'd never seen black leather massage chairs offering a body buzz for $1. They say you can't get anything for $1 anymore. Among the usual furnishings is general billboard for various stores in the mall - not the directory, but the one that advertises different stores you can get lost trying to find because it's not the directory you're looking at.
Over the past few decades these little implements have definately taken advantage of developing technology, and where once were posters there now are low-end TV screens. This particular one was more like a low-end computer screen running a slow screen saver. The sweater from one store turns into a bra from another store turns into a pair of shoes from another store. It wasn't even moving very fast.
As we walked by there was a small boy - maybe eight or nine years old - sitting on the dirty tile floor, legs crossed, two feet away from the screen, neck craned up so he could watch. No, I'm not joking. It wasn't a television, but it was the closest he was going to get to one as long as his mom sat in the hallway waiting for whatever or whomever they were waiting for. You could have taken a photo of the scene, cut the kid out of it, and pasted him into a living room - everything about his body language, glazed expression, and sedate brain activity was exactly the same.
It didn't even matter that he wasn't watching anything interesting ... or really anything at all. I'm sure the product screen saver in its entire circulation is not as stimulating as a moment of normal childrens programming. The point was he was told to stay in a concentrated area and, lucky stars, there was a moving picture screen in that area. Like young romance, it doesn't matter if the other has anything interesting to say he just wanted to be close to it. Weird.
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Thursday, December 28, 2006
poverty of spirit
So I've been trying to become "poor in spirit" according to Matthew 5:3, and it hasn't been working. I'm not feeling it. I've been praying, Lord, show me what it is to be poor in spirit! Very passionate.
Yesterday I realized I am poor in spirit. Given my previous altered-for-context definition of "poor," we're all poor in spirit. The proudest atheist is completely poor in spirit.
poor: having little or no means of support (without Jesus -Ed.), dependant upon charity (read: grace -Ed.), meagerly endowed, deficient, lacking, inferior, inadequate, lacking in (my own -Ed.) skill or ability, deficient in moral excellence, meager, humble, modest, needy.We know that anything good in anyone's life is an act of God's mercy, because He loves saint and sinner alike. If He removed His hand from our lives, we'd all be without support; we're all dependant upon His charity and grace. It's true of everyone. So what's the deal with the first beatitude?
Whether or not the kingdom of heaven is mine depends on my knowing and admitting and living according to the fact that I am completely at His mercies (which are new every morning: hallelujah.) Jesus councils the poor, encouraging us to come to him so he can take care of us. In order to go to Him, though, we need to first realize how poor we are.
I'm not exactly sure how to do that. I think He has to show me, so I think it's going to involve a lot of quiet time and a very vulnerable spirit.
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
book reviews
I finished Intercessor over the long Christmas weekend. I'm still not sure how I feel about it as a whole.
Initially its extremely challenging. I couldn't put it down. Then I stumbled onto some really bad doctrine. If you don't know that you know that the Lord is a healer; the same yesterday, today, and forever; who shows no favoritism; and once and forever healed everyone ... read Christ the Healer by F.F. Bosworth before you get into Intercessor.
That bit in the middle that got into Rees' theories on divine healing was a little hard to get through, but it was worth doing. The way he governed his finances (and the finances of a new university) on faith is more than an inspiration, and to read the stories of how the prayer coming out of a few dozen young adults given to intercession guided the course of a World War is amazing.
I'll be honest: when I heard about Rees Howells ("the man God used to pray His will in the midst of a war!") it sounded a little sensational, and I was pretty sure it was exaggerated. I thought, "Maybe some cool stuff happened, but the man did not alter the course of WWII. No way." I was pretty sure that a couple of strange coincidences were over-romanticized and made to seem highly spiritual, but my objective view on the story would surely shine some light on the truth. I was wrong, though. Rees met the heart of God for the war and prayed it out.
It's encouraging. Everyone, at some point, probably has a quiet moment wherein we think, "How much is this doing, really?" We think we know that our prayers move heaven, but they really, really do. Really.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
dead but not dying
We've all heard the phrase (or lyric, if you're 20 or older), "You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone." We all know we take a lot of things for granted because we've all at least heard about poverty-stricken nations and at some point had a moment of honest reflection in which we were really struck by how blessed we are to have been born or found our way into the wealthiest nation in the world. (Appologies for the run-on sentence.) If you've ever been to one of those nations, you come back with this resolve in your spirit to take a moment and thank the Lord every time you flush a toilet, but a month later you've forgotten all about it. Of all the things I never thought I'd take for granted, though, Holy Spirit was at the top of that list.
Timothy and I were out of town last weekend visiting half of my family for Christmas. Come Sunday morning we went to church with my grandparents and my great-grandma. We wanted to be in a church to respect the Word of the Lord, and because the Holy Spirit teaches us all things ... so we knew as long as a Bible was involved it wouldn't be hopeless. We also went because it made my great-grandma happy, and anything you can do to make an 80-something year old lady happy is a good idea.
I'm not going to pick apart the service (but I certainly could), because it will avail nothing. I knew that most American churches operate in that fashion: poor if not outright incorrect doctrine, consumer-friendly message, pre-scripted prayers, and no alter ministry. I spent a decade in one of those churches, but I guess it had been a while and I'd forgotten all about it.
At the end of the service, a man began to pray and read, "Lord we thank you because we have felt your presence here this morning." Timothy dropped his head and fearfully whispered, "Oh Lord." I can honestly say I tried all morning to connect with God's heart and it was difficult. I looked around and realized that I was in a room with scores of people who don't know what it's like to be in His presence.
And that's exactly why it's not okay. It would be easy to walk away from that and say, "Well it's not my cup of tea, but if that's how they want to have church then it's up to them." I'm not alright with that. That's not how Holy Spirit wants to have church (and it's His church); that's not how church is supposed to be (see Acts); and that's not even really how they want church they just don't know any better. It's not alright because I looked around at dozens and dozens of people who love God and who are being robbed of the fullness of His glory. It's not alright because that night Timothy and I tried to pray with my grandma for healing (recent chemotherapy treaments killed a lot of the nerve endings in her hands and feet so it's hard for her to handle small things and the ground always feels uneven to her), and although she let us, she watched with this "that's so cute" look on her face as I commanded nerve endings to be restored in Jesus' name. (Of course, I'm still praying that she'll find faith one day soon and that prayer will be allowed to take its course.)
I'm kind of ranting now, but I'm frustrated. We need to pray until the crippling grip of religion is broken off of the Church in America. We so desperately need revival.
Timothy and I were out of town last weekend visiting half of my family for Christmas. Come Sunday morning we went to church with my grandparents and my great-grandma. We wanted to be in a church to respect the Word of the Lord, and because the Holy Spirit teaches us all things ... so we knew as long as a Bible was involved it wouldn't be hopeless. We also went because it made my great-grandma happy, and anything you can do to make an 80-something year old lady happy is a good idea.
I'm not going to pick apart the service (but I certainly could), because it will avail nothing. I knew that most American churches operate in that fashion: poor if not outright incorrect doctrine, consumer-friendly message, pre-scripted prayers, and no alter ministry. I spent a decade in one of those churches, but I guess it had been a while and I'd forgotten all about it.
At the end of the service, a man began to pray and read, "Lord we thank you because we have felt your presence here this morning." Timothy dropped his head and fearfully whispered, "Oh Lord." I can honestly say I tried all morning to connect with God's heart and it was difficult. I looked around and realized that I was in a room with scores of people who don't know what it's like to be in His presence.
And that's exactly why it's not okay. It would be easy to walk away from that and say, "Well it's not my cup of tea, but if that's how they want to have church then it's up to them." I'm not alright with that. That's not how Holy Spirit wants to have church (and it's His church); that's not how church is supposed to be (see Acts); and that's not even really how they want church they just don't know any better. It's not alright because I looked around at dozens and dozens of people who love God and who are being robbed of the fullness of His glory. It's not alright because that night Timothy and I tried to pray with my grandma for healing (recent chemotherapy treaments killed a lot of the nerve endings in her hands and feet so it's hard for her to handle small things and the ground always feels uneven to her), and although she let us, she watched with this "that's so cute" look on her face as I commanded nerve endings to be restored in Jesus' name. (Of course, I'm still praying that she'll find faith one day soon and that prayer will be allowed to take its course.)
I'm kind of ranting now, but I'm frustrated. We need to pray until the crippling grip of religion is broken off of the Church in America. We so desperately need revival.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
fun game
I made up a fun game. If you're rockin' Battle Cry you've already heard this, but that's okay. I call it "the beatitude game" because I haven't come up with anything more clever. Hopefully the board game version will be out in time for Christmas 07.
Here's how you play:
1. Pick one verse from Matthew 5:3-10. It can be your favorite, the easiest, the hardest, or just the first on the list.
2. Dedicate yourself for a month to the study of every word in that verse, to prayer regarding your condition in relation to that verse, and to actively cultivating your life in accordance with that verse.
3. One month later, pick another one and repeat step two.
Fun, huh? I'm starting at the top because, honestly, they all scare me. I'm on day two and it's hard. I have Post-Its on my computer and in my car that read:
poor: having little or no means of support (without Jesus -Ed.), dependant upon charity (read: grace -Ed.), meagerly endowed, deficient, lacking, inferior, inadequate, lacking in (my own -Ed.) skill or ability, deficient in moral excellence, meager, humble, modest, needy.Naturally there is some interpretation here; I am not striving to be deficient in moral excellence, but realizing that as I try and try I am comparitively a long way off. Still trying, though - that's the clincher.
Are you in?
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
healing
Revelation 19:10//"... For the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy."
I hereby prophesy dramatic miracles of healings in and through our youth.
After the service last Friday, 30 to 40 teenagers spent a half hour frantically searching the building for clues that would reveal the destination of next summer's missions trip. It was pretty exciting, even to watch.
One girl who comes every so often was limping behind her group. After the pieces were discovered, the map assembled, and the country identified I asked this girl why she was limping. She explained and I asked if she'd like it healed. She said yes, more because it was the "right answer" than because she believed it would happen.
I called her friend over, and told them a quick version of the story of the deaf woman in India who had her hearing restored (see the above scripture). We both laid hands on her leg and the girls automatically closed their eyes and bowed their heads.
"You don't have to do that. You can if you want, but really it's not that serious. Jesus said to do this, so we do it. It's not hard." I invoked the Name above all names, and commanded things to be as they should rather matter-of-factly. "Stand up."
Fortunately it takes faith the size of a mustard seed to move mountains because she stood up like she thought it had gotten worse.
"How's it feel?" She paused to consider the question, stomped her foot on the ground and shouted something to the effect of, "That's amazing." Mustard seeds are very small, hallelujah.
I hereby prophesy dramatic miracles of healings in and through our youth.
After the service last Friday, 30 to 40 teenagers spent a half hour frantically searching the building for clues that would reveal the destination of next summer's missions trip. It was pretty exciting, even to watch.
One girl who comes every so often was limping behind her group. After the pieces were discovered, the map assembled, and the country identified I asked this girl why she was limping. She explained and I asked if she'd like it healed. She said yes, more because it was the "right answer" than because she believed it would happen.
I called her friend over, and told them a quick version of the story of the deaf woman in India who had her hearing restored (see the above scripture). We both laid hands on her leg and the girls automatically closed their eyes and bowed their heads.
"You don't have to do that. You can if you want, but really it's not that serious. Jesus said to do this, so we do it. It's not hard." I invoked the Name above all names, and commanded things to be as they should rather matter-of-factly. "Stand up."
Fortunately it takes faith the size of a mustard seed to move mountains because she stood up like she thought it had gotten worse.
"How's it feel?" She paused to consider the question, stomped her foot on the ground and shouted something to the effect of, "That's amazing." Mustard seeds are very small, hallelujah.
Sunday, December 17, 2006
two parties
First was Marianne's baby shower. Gifts, food, bingo ... the usual. We got some cultural tips from Jane about how Chinese women transport babies. Good stuff.
Then the 2nd Annual Ornament party in two shifts. First the Hobans then everyone else. It was a small gathering but the food was wonderful and the decorating was a success.
After the boys painted ornaments we foolishly left the paint on the floor. Despite their mother's constant warning to, "Don't run by the paint!" and "Stay away from the paint," Seany did this amazing tuck and roll that landed his butt right on the palet. He was not impressed with Timothy's efforts to clean his pants, nor could he account for what had happened. He must have blacked out or something.
Then the 2nd Annual Ornament party in two shifts. First the Hobans then everyone else. It was a small gathering but the food was wonderful and the decorating was a success.
After the boys painted ornaments we foolishly left the paint on the floor. Despite their mother's constant warning to, "Don't run by the paint!" and "Stay away from the paint," Seany did this amazing tuck and roll that landed his butt right on the palet. He was not impressed with Timothy's efforts to clean his pants, nor could he account for what had happened. He must have blacked out or something.Friday, December 15, 2006
Christmas Carols
December is just insane. Stop for a minute and look around (if you can do so without being mowed over) and it's craziness. I actually skipped the midweek service two days ago to pray and just spend time alone with my God.
I also took the liberty of making myself a Christmas CD. The Christmas radio stations just don't cut it for me; I get bored with the secular songs (which is half of the songs). I'm not trying to sound uber-spiritual, but it's true. If Jingle Bells gets you feeling jolly, then go with it, but to me it's just like any other song that's not about Jesus. Pointless.
I found some good stuff in the process, though. So if you're looking for Nativity music try these:
Christmas with Johnny Cash. I put "The Gifts They Gave" on my mix. Johnny Cash is just a great story teller. If you missed out on having a grandfather, get some Johnny Cash.
These guys have more soul in their little fingers ... and the harmonies are wonderful. I used Away in a Manger on my CD and I don't even like that song. This is a Christmas album, and if you really think about the title it makes sense.
Etta James. There are some secular songs on this album, I just used Silent Night. This woman's voice is amazing. All I want for Christmas is to be able to sing like Etta James.
Also noteworthy will be Hillsong's Celebrating Christmas. It's older Hillsong stuff, which I don't especailly dig, but O Rejoice is a beautiful song. Maybe just get on iTunes and spend a dollar on that one.
Ella Fitzgerald's Christmas is another must-have. Not to be confused with Ella Wishes You a Swinging Christmas. The former is about Jesus, the later is about snow.
Finally, a little plug for Unexpected Gifts. It's a comp featuring most of the radio-familiar Christian artists, but I found it via ZOEgirl's drum machine dance beat version of What Child is This?
If there's something really good that I'm missing, please let me know. Jeffy, any Christmas rap we should know about?
Oh wait. Speaking of iTunes ... If you're in the office and looking to stream some Christmas tunes search for Mountain Apple Company. It's free and it's Hawaiian Christmas Music. I kid you not. I'm listening to O Holy Night with a uke right now.
I also took the liberty of making myself a Christmas CD. The Christmas radio stations just don't cut it for me; I get bored with the secular songs (which is half of the songs). I'm not trying to sound uber-spiritual, but it's true. If Jingle Bells gets you feeling jolly, then go with it, but to me it's just like any other song that's not about Jesus. Pointless.
I found some good stuff in the process, though. So if you're looking for Nativity music try these:
Christmas with Johnny Cash. I put "The Gifts They Gave" on my mix. Johnny Cash is just a great story teller. If you missed out on having a grandfather, get some Johnny Cash.
These guys have more soul in their little fingers ... and the harmonies are wonderful. I used Away in a Manger on my CD and I don't even like that song. This is a Christmas album, and if you really think about the title it makes sense.
Etta James. There are some secular songs on this album, I just used Silent Night. This woman's voice is amazing. All I want for Christmas is to be able to sing like Etta James.
Also noteworthy will be Hillsong's Celebrating Christmas. It's older Hillsong stuff, which I don't especailly dig, but O Rejoice is a beautiful song. Maybe just get on iTunes and spend a dollar on that one.
Ella Fitzgerald's Christmas is another must-have. Not to be confused with Ella Wishes You a Swinging Christmas. The former is about Jesus, the later is about snow.
Finally, a little plug for Unexpected Gifts. It's a comp featuring most of the radio-familiar Christian artists, but I found it via ZOEgirl's drum machine dance beat version of What Child is This?
If there's something really good that I'm missing, please let me know. Jeffy, any Christmas rap we should know about?
Oh wait. Speaking of iTunes ... If you're in the office and looking to stream some Christmas tunes search for Mountain Apple Company. It's free and it's Hawaiian Christmas Music. I kid you not. I'm listening to O Holy Night with a uke right now.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
spider push-ups
Here we go. A Seany-short from last weekend. I'm not sure where he came up with the "spider push-ups," but my favorite part is about half-way through when he admits, "This hurts."
under my heel
I woke up yesterday morning with a demon at my beside screaming accusations against my husband. No one just wakes up in the morning angry at someone ... unless you went to bed angry with someone, which you shouldn't do anyway. Timothy had gotten up early to take some of the guys from our youth ministry out to breakfast before school. I woke up and lay in bed for another 10 minutes listening to the accuser. I called Timothy so we could agree with our adversary and put the matter behind us, but he was still with the boys.
For the next half hour, as I hurredly showered and got ready for work, that imp tried to convince me not to call Timothy back, not to talk about it, just let it blow over. "You're making a big deal out of nothing again. If you say that to him he'll think you're accusing him and get offended and angry. Don't you trust him? If you trust him, you don't need to talk about it. It's really your fault anyway."
Timothy called just as I was leaving for work. He was relieved to talk about it; the Holy Spirit had already convicted him a little on the matter. It was easy, and the devil is under my heel.
Monday, December 11, 2006
two good things
My husband and I went on a date Saturday night. Whoa. This necessitates a couple of plugs:
First, Chef Peter's Bistro. That's right, spirit-filled, four-star food that you used to have to drive out to Marengo to get has come to Rt. 14 in Crystal Lake. O happy day. Chef and his family are dear friends of ours that we met when he hired me a couple years ago. Lovely people and dangerously delicious food. It's all from scratch, it's all wonderful. If you don't know where to begin, I recommend the garlic and artichoke pizza. Mmm.
Then we went to see The Nativity Story and I think I was on the brink of tears during the whole movie. Not sad tears, though, it was that's-so-unbelievably-amazing-and-I-love-it tears. As a film, you could tell the production was rushed: some sub-par CGI, and a couple obvious sets. I really appreciated the movie, though. It's always enlightening to see stories that you've read dozens of times; you understand things that you maybe didn't before.
Things I understand:
1. Zacharias was probably the first guy on earth to know the Messiah was soon coming.
2. The horror of being engaged and found pregnant. I knew, before, that Mary could have been stoned to death for leaving to visit Elizabeth and coming home pregnant. You get to see, though, how it affected her family, and poor Joseph! I have a whole new respect for Joseph. Can't wait to meet that guy someday.
3. In the film, they had to travel through Jerusalem to get to Bethlehem. I'm not sure if that's accurate, but when I saw it my thought was: Jesus' first and last trip to the holy city was on a donkey. That's one of the things you just have to love about Jesus: no loose ends.
There were some inaccuracies, mostly involving the "wise men," but all in all I say go see it. Oh, I was also so very glad that the producers didn't over-romanticize the relationship between Mary and Joseph as Hollywood is prone to do. *applause*
PS- Tami, I will post video of Seany. I will. I tried all weekend to get to Panera to no avail. In the meantime, everyone, click on the "my battle plan" link to the right and you can check out an awesome video by a Russian, Christian, hardcore band. That's right: Russian, Christian, and hardcore. Amazing.
First, Chef Peter's Bistro. That's right, spirit-filled, four-star food that you used to have to drive out to Marengo to get has come to Rt. 14 in Crystal Lake. O happy day. Chef and his family are dear friends of ours that we met when he hired me a couple years ago. Lovely people and dangerously delicious food. It's all from scratch, it's all wonderful. If you don't know where to begin, I recommend the garlic and artichoke pizza. Mmm.
Then we went to see The Nativity Story and I think I was on the brink of tears during the whole movie. Not sad tears, though, it was that's-so-unbelievably-amazing-and-I-love-it tears. As a film, you could tell the production was rushed: some sub-par CGI, and a couple obvious sets. I really appreciated the movie, though. It's always enlightening to see stories that you've read dozens of times; you understand things that you maybe didn't before.
Things I understand:
1. Zacharias was probably the first guy on earth to know the Messiah was soon coming.
2. The horror of being engaged and found pregnant. I knew, before, that Mary could have been stoned to death for leaving to visit Elizabeth and coming home pregnant. You get to see, though, how it affected her family, and poor Joseph! I have a whole new respect for Joseph. Can't wait to meet that guy someday.
3. In the film, they had to travel through Jerusalem to get to Bethlehem. I'm not sure if that's accurate, but when I saw it my thought was: Jesus' first and last trip to the holy city was on a donkey. That's one of the things you just have to love about Jesus: no loose ends.
There were some inaccuracies, mostly involving the "wise men," but all in all I say go see it. Oh, I was also so very glad that the producers didn't over-romanticize the relationship between Mary and Joseph as Hollywood is prone to do. *applause*
PS- Tami, I will post video of Seany. I will. I tried all weekend to get to Panera to no avail. In the meantime, everyone, click on the "my battle plan" link to the right and you can check out an awesome video by a Russian, Christian, hardcore band. That's right: Russian, Christian, and hardcore. Amazing.
Friday, December 08, 2006
revelation on Christmas
First of all, if you answered "Yes" to any of those rhetorical questions yesterday ... they were rhetorial and you weren't really supposed to answer them. Ha. But if you did, go here and listen to Revelations from Mount Sinai. That was almost creepy. I wonder if Brian Zahnd knows that the Lord uses him to deliver a message weeks ahead of time so it's posted online right when I need it. Because He does.
Really, what I'm kind of musing over lately is the birth of the Christ. I'm sure this comes as no surprise, given it's December. I've been going through Christmas songs - mostly old hymns, trying to figure out which ones are NOT in 6/8 time so we can rock 'em Friday night - for the youth worship team. Reading through a bunch of these lyrics, I think their authors had a revelation of the birth of Jesus that most Christians do not have. We set up nativities in our front yards and string colored lights around the house, but do we really have an understanding of the miracle that we celebrate?
Check out some of these lyrics. What Child is This? was always one of my favorite Christmas songs, but I like minor keys. Reading through the lyrics you can't help but catch the sense of awe that must have been present, and at the same time the relief that the Promise had come. O Holy Night has a similiar effect.
There were, I believe, 400 years that went by between the Old and New Testaments of your Bible. Four hundred years that are nothing to us today, because we only turn the page, but for 400 years (I hope it's 400 because I've said it three times now.) God's last word to his people was "curse." For 400 years God's people fell short of the requirements of the law and tried to hang on to a promise spoken by prophets long since passed away. I don't know what the life expectancy was 2000 years ago, but I imagine it was shorter than it is today; 400 years could have been six to eight generations. Imagine the despair that begins to settle into the spirit of a people striving to restore a lost relationship with their God, whom even their grandfathers have never seen or heard.
Now imagine you're a Jewish shepherd who has been taught from the Torah all your life. You can probably recite at least the first five books from memory. You know the prophecies, and an angels visits you one night to point out a star ... Or imagine you're a magi from eastern Asia with the dual understanding that the God if Israel is the only true God, and that you are not one of his chosen people. You know the Truth, and that you have no right to access it until you look up one night and see the star you've been waiting decades to see ... Let that really settle in your spirit and you could have written What Child Is This? too.
Really, what I'm kind of musing over lately is the birth of the Christ. I'm sure this comes as no surprise, given it's December. I've been going through Christmas songs - mostly old hymns, trying to figure out which ones are NOT in 6/8 time so we can rock 'em Friday night - for the youth worship team. Reading through a bunch of these lyrics, I think their authors had a revelation of the birth of Jesus that most Christians do not have. We set up nativities in our front yards and string colored lights around the house, but do we really have an understanding of the miracle that we celebrate?
Check out some of these lyrics. What Child is This? was always one of my favorite Christmas songs, but I like minor keys. Reading through the lyrics you can't help but catch the sense of awe that must have been present, and at the same time the relief that the Promise had come. O Holy Night has a similiar effect.
There were, I believe, 400 years that went by between the Old and New Testaments of your Bible. Four hundred years that are nothing to us today, because we only turn the page, but for 400 years (I hope it's 400 because I've said it three times now.) God's last word to his people was "curse." For 400 years God's people fell short of the requirements of the law and tried to hang on to a promise spoken by prophets long since passed away. I don't know what the life expectancy was 2000 years ago, but I imagine it was shorter than it is today; 400 years could have been six to eight generations. Imagine the despair that begins to settle into the spirit of a people striving to restore a lost relationship with their God, whom even their grandfathers have never seen or heard.
Now imagine you're a Jewish shepherd who has been taught from the Torah all your life. You can probably recite at least the first five books from memory. You know the prophecies, and an angels visits you one night to point out a star ... Or imagine you're a magi from eastern Asia with the dual understanding that the God if Israel is the only true God, and that you are not one of his chosen people. You know the Truth, and that you have no right to access it until you look up one night and see the star you've been waiting decades to see ... Let that really settle in your spirit and you could have written What Child Is This? too.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
press on
Do you ever feel like you just cannot go on? Or that maybe you shouldn't? Or maybe you should go on, just not the same way you're going now ... Or maybe that's an escapism and you're just dealing with a willing spirit and weak flesh (Matt 26:41).
Do you ever feel like you're doing everything you can (and maybe too much because you're so tired that your daydreams go from Rome to one day alone in your apartment and seem just as wonderful), but doing nothing at the same time? How is that possible? It can't be because you're doing the wrong things because you have to pay rent somehow, and be faithful with little.
At the same time, have you ever just wanted to voluntarily and knowingly slip into compromise? I did a pretty good job yesterday using the wilderness temptation strategy (quote scripture at the devil), but its just all around you. Even at church, let's not kid ourselves.
Have you ever strayed so far from God that you were embarassed to come back? The story of the prodigal son can be your favorite metaphor in the Bible, but it doesn't make it easier. It makes it possible, but not easy. To even come back as a servant, knowing that He'll make you a son again ... Have you ever wanted to take a moment to weep at his feet for being so good and so merciful -- and had to wait until your lunch break to do it?
Have you ever really had a revelation of strength in your weakness? Do we focus more on "I am strong," or the prerequisite, "I am weak?" Have you ever really reconsiled yourself to being weak?
Do you ever feel like you're doing everything you can (and maybe too much because you're so tired that your daydreams go from Rome to one day alone in your apartment and seem just as wonderful), but doing nothing at the same time? How is that possible? It can't be because you're doing the wrong things because you have to pay rent somehow, and be faithful with little.
At the same time, have you ever just wanted to voluntarily and knowingly slip into compromise? I did a pretty good job yesterday using the wilderness temptation strategy (quote scripture at the devil), but its just all around you. Even at church, let's not kid ourselves.
Have you ever strayed so far from God that you were embarassed to come back? The story of the prodigal son can be your favorite metaphor in the Bible, but it doesn't make it easier. It makes it possible, but not easy. To even come back as a servant, knowing that He'll make you a son again ... Have you ever wanted to take a moment to weep at his feet for being so good and so merciful -- and had to wait until your lunch break to do it?
Have you ever really had a revelation of strength in your weakness? Do we focus more on "I am strong," or the prerequisite, "I am weak?" Have you ever really reconsiled yourself to being weak?
weak [week] -adjectiveWhen I admit I can do nothing in my own strenth - nothing that matters, nothing eternal - He becomes strong through my life by faith. I have to first accept that I'm weak, and stop trying to do it on my own. Ready, set, stop.
1. not strong; liable to yield; fragile; frail
2. lacking in bodily strength of healthy vigor, as from age or sickness
3. not having much political strength, governing power, or authority
4. lacking in force, potency, or efficacy
5. lacking in rhetorical or creative force or effectiveness
6. lacking in logical or legal force or soundness
7. deficient in mental power, intelligence, or judgment
8. deficient in amount, intensity
9. deficient in the essential or usual properties
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
weekend without end
Wow what a weekend. I wanted to wait and put pictures up, but who on earth has time to upload pictures? Not me.
Friday was great. I got to speak at youth in Pastor Tim's absence and I'm told it went well. It didn't go how I planned, but I guess it's my fault for asking the Lord to hold my tongue when it should be held and speak when I should speak. Hopefully that's what happened. I know it led to some good alter ministry time, so I call that success. Also encouraging was Pastor's unintentional confirmation of my message Sunday morning. It was interesting, also, to worship from the floor on a Friday night instead of from a mic. I definately missed worship team, though. Definately.
Saturday was jam-packed. Timothy and I worked that morning (handing out flashing Santa hats to little kids - rough work), and then we had practice. I think I need to take more time to just thank God for the people he's given us for a youth worship team. Those guys are some of the most dedicated teenage boys I know, and they're good which is nice too. There are some things that need ironing out, but that's true of all of us. We hung out with the Hoban's for 20 minutes so I could work on a song with Tami (blessings on that woman, Lord, for all she does), and so Timothy could get Seany wound up. I may still post some of that video. That kid is just unreal.
Sunday was a great, great service: worship that had to be Holy Spirit-directed because otherwise people would have left (besides Dennis, who more or less left for a while anyway. Haha.), a challenging message, and wonderful alter ministry time.
And I'm done.
Friday was great. I got to speak at youth in Pastor Tim's absence and I'm told it went well. It didn't go how I planned, but I guess it's my fault for asking the Lord to hold my tongue when it should be held and speak when I should speak. Hopefully that's what happened. I know it led to some good alter ministry time, so I call that success. Also encouraging was Pastor's unintentional confirmation of my message Sunday morning. It was interesting, also, to worship from the floor on a Friday night instead of from a mic. I definately missed worship team, though. Definately.
Saturday was jam-packed. Timothy and I worked that morning (handing out flashing Santa hats to little kids - rough work), and then we had practice. I think I need to take more time to just thank God for the people he's given us for a youth worship team. Those guys are some of the most dedicated teenage boys I know, and they're good which is nice too. There are some things that need ironing out, but that's true of all of us. We hung out with the Hoban's for 20 minutes so I could work on a song with Tami (blessings on that woman, Lord, for all she does), and so Timothy could get Seany wound up. I may still post some of that video. That kid is just unreal.
Sunday was a great, great service: worship that had to be Holy Spirit-directed because otherwise people would have left (besides Dennis, who more or less left for a while anyway. Haha.), a challenging message, and wonderful alter ministry time.
Sometimes God can speak to you and its great because God spoke to you, but it's still good when God speaks that same thing through someone else. Reminding and confirming. I never really doubted the word when He spoke it directly to me, but I cried when Pastor said it again. All day I couldn't figure out why I'd cried like that. I've been very busy lately, and honestly it's put a slight damper on my passion for my Lord. I've been fighting condemnation over it at every turn. At the end of the thing I think I cried - wept - not because I needed a reminder or a confirmation, but because He's serious about me. I am important to the King of heaven. You know that, and I "knew" that, but ... words can't describe.As I was sitting on the floor crying, little Sammy Johnson (I think he's three) walked around in front of me, asked why I was crying, and gave me a hug. It's amazing what a hug from a concerned toddler can do. After church we went sledding with a small group from Switch, but not for long because it was freezing cold. Pics pending. Then I went with my dad to find a little, no-one-loves-me Christmas tree. It's so cute. Sunday night was the worship team Christmas party, which was just too fun.
And I'm done.
Friday, December 01, 2006
snow
It's snowing. It took me an hour to complete my normal 30 minute commute this morning. On the way I saw 11 cars in snow drifts, and another two just stopped on the side of the road with hazards on.
My car learned a new trick yesterday (the first time it really got below freezing) that involves not letting me in. The lock on the driver's side door refuses to budget. Yesterday at lunch I was fighting it when one of my co-workers came back from her break.
"Is your lock frozen?"
"I think so."
"Try heating up your key."
"How?"
"With a lighter."
"A lighter?"
"Ya."
"Peggy, do you have a lighter?"
"No."
"And why not?"
"Well I don't smoke or anything."
"Do I smoke?"
"No."
"Then why would I have a lighter?! I don't have a lighter."
Our church organized a men's retreat for this weekend. Pray the roads get cleared so they can go; I know a lot of them will be blessed if they can go. Our youth meeting is on tonight as far as I know, so pray for safe travel too please.
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