i suck, alright? geeze.

I started to post a comment on Holy Cow's blog, and it got long. You can get to him here, but most of the post was this video:



Okay. Maybe it's just me. Maybe it's just me because I work part-time in a church and I'm really involved in ministry and really into the Christian thing. But - and maybe it's just me - I'm getting kind of tired of hearing this, honestly.

Jim and Casper was pretty revolutionary. All of the Barna studies leading up to it, and that came to follow, were pretty ground-breaking. News of the first dozen churches across the country to hold public meetings and apologize for not "being Christian" was encouraging. All the blogs and videos and books and articles are perhaps, though, getting counter-productive.

And maybe it's just me that feels like I've heard this a million times. If a Christian out there hasn't heard that Christians in America don't love people like Jesus wants us to, by all means: be rocked by the message.

At some point, though, we need to get over the revelation and do something. Right now it sounds like the world, that is hostile toward God's people anyway, shouting, "Hypocrites! Jerks!" etc. and us going "You're right! We suck!" I feel like we're just feeding the lie.

Because strains of it are true: there are Christians who are not living godly lives. But it's just not true that "most Christians" are bad people. The good ones simply don't make the news, and they usually go unnoticed in our day to day lives because they're just nice people. We need to do good - probably more good than we are right now, sure - and point to it when the accusations fly. After that, we need to shut up and fix ourselves - not make documentaries about what horrible people we are.

I'm also getting really tired of the holier-than-thou attitude that this kind of stuff fosters within the Church. You've got a group of "real" Christians who create and/or use the articles and videos and books to puff themselves up because they know what's really wrong with all those other, lesser Christians.

It's not everyone. Don't hear what I'm not saying. I'm not saying that, by default, the authors of these works are arrogant. I wholeheartedly believe that most of the original authors and producers are genuine people who want to help the body of Christ see where she needs help. It's the conversation that goes on about them, in Christian circles, that is so often laced with self-righteousness. I know because I've been there. I've used some of it to put myself on a pedestal over other believers. I've since been knocked off said pedestal, but I wasn't up there alone.

So if you haven't heard it before, now you have. A segment of the body of Christ is failing to love the way Christ loves and serve the way Christ calls us to serve. Sit back for a moment and let it apply to you too, because it probably does. Agree with your adversary quickly. Okay? You good? Get it?

Now let's move on before this becomes our legacy.

random thought about Sampson

Pastor talked about Sampson this past Sunday and I had a side-thought.

"And the Angel of the LORD appeared to the woman and said to her, 'Indeed now, you are barren and have borne no children, but you shall conceive and bear a son. Now therefore, please be careful not to drink wine or similar drink, and not to eat anything unclean. For behold, you shall conceive and bear a son. And no razor shall come upon his head, for the child shall be a Nazirite to God from the womb; and he shall begin to deliver Israel out of the hand of the Philistines.'" (Judges 13:3-5)

Sampson was set apart to God before he was even conceived. He was to fulfill the requirements of a Nazirite his entire life, which seems to start at the moment his mother becomes pregnant.

It's not earth shattering, and I think most of us know that God is not for abortion. I guess I just never thought of the story of Sampson as a plug for "life begins at conception."

That's all.

two cents

Switch is almost done with a teaching series on giving called Two Cents. Timothy kicked it off with tithes and offerings two weeks ago, and this past Friday I got to talk to the students a little more about the widow and her two mites and going beyond 10% into revolutionary giving.

Which means that about a week ago I was staring at Mark 12, waiting for something really, really good to happen. And it did. It doesn't always (maybe I'm not always listening), but it did last week. I love that. I love getting to talk to the students about something that the Lord recently moved through me. It's just more fun.

I even got some thoughtful facial responses from my husband and some of the older students, so I thought I'd share my little revelation with you all. Maybe this is common place and you already know this, but I think it's cool.

Mark 12:44//"... for they all put in out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty put in all that she had, her whole livelihood." (Context)

That phrase struck me, "out of her poverty." If I tell you that out of God's mercy you are saved that means you're saved because of God's mercy. If someone tells you that out of compassion they bought a homeless man dinner, it means that a man got dinner because of their compassion.

So when Jesus says, "out of her poverty she put in all that she had," does that mean that she put in all that she had because of her poverty? Would this same woman in a better financial situation have given out of her abundance like all the others?

I think the surface message here what I've heard a thousand times: What really matters is not how much you have to give, but your heart in giving. Jesus is definitely telling us that. But I think Jesus is also reemphasizing the first of the beatitudes:

Matthew 5:3//"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

I tend to muse on virtual paper when I'm preparing a message and just type paragraphs. Sometimes I read them verbatim on Friday nights, sometimes I read pieces. Usually I just glance at it long enough to remember what I was thinking and speak it however it comes out. Last week I wrote this:

"Many of us have probably heard the sermon about giving. Even the sermon about giving above and beyond the 10%. Some of us have even decided to go for it and gotten really excited about it from the safety of somewhere away from our cash. We still don't do it, though, because we're not giving out of our poverty. We still think that our money matters, so it's impossible to part with it in any sort of revolutionary way."

Of course money does matter. You need to pay your bills, and it takes money to get the gospel out there. The specific bills that are in your wallet, or represented by the number on your bank statement, though, are not crucial.

God is not impressed by anyone's bank account.

news from lakeland

Todd Bentley, of Fresh Fire Ministries, as been at the helm of the Lakeland "Revival" for months, until now.

On August 12, the Board of Directors at Fresh Fire announced that Todd and his wife had officially separated after months of marriage counseling. Three days later, a new letter was posted on the ministry's website that included the following:

We wish to acknowledge, however, that since our last statement from the Fresh Fire Board of Directors, we have discovered new information revealing that Todd Bentley has entered into an unhealthy relationship on an emotional level with a female member of his staff. In light of this new information and in consultation with his leaders and advisors, Todd Bentley has agreed to step down from his position on the Board of Directors and to refrain from all public ministry for a season to receive counsel in his personal life.

The activities in Lakeland have been hotly debated for months, as this latest news is now. I'm going to continue to keep my opinion on the whole thing to myself out of fear. There is plenty of opinion out there on Lakeland and Todd if you want it.

I'm going to ask that we take a minute and pray for Todd and his family. This is one of those crucial moments where the Church gets to show the world what she's made of. Do we walk on and over people who are experiencing hardship? Do we argue among ourselves, throwing "I told you so's" and "Don't touch God's anointed's" back and forth?

Or do we rally together - aware that our enemy is well seasoned in the art of divide-and-conquer, and pray for people?

it doesn't even rile my emotions anymore

Jude 16-19//These are grumblers, complainers, walking according to their own lusts; and they mouth great swelling words, flattering people to gain advantage. But you, beloved, remember the words which were spoken before by the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ: how they told you that there would be mockers in the last time who would walk according to their own ungodly lusts. These are sensual persons, who cause divisions, not having the Spirit.

Bound4Life Chicago

"Jesus, I plead Your blood over my sins and the sins of my nation. God, end abortion and bring revival to America."

I glance down at the now familiar piece of red duct tape and draw a deep breath. I know, in part, what the next three hours will bring. Tears. Faith. Anger. Applause. Sore feet. Frustration. Restlessness. Hecklers. And a more intimate connection to the heart that saw the world before it was. I watch the piece of tape between my fingers and draw a deep breath just to put it off for another moment.

It's surprising and comforting how securely the tape holds to your face. You know it's not letting go, which you know means you can't let go. There's no turning back now, and my flesh hates me in this moment. It hates me more than fasting and more than early morning prayer walks and more than those comfortable moments that my husband ruins when he casually asks if I want to pray for a while.

But the tape clings, and even my flesh knows that pulling it off is going to hurt so we might as well.

And then my spirit takes over and I remember why I'm here.

I stand in the throne room of heaven and ask for Grace. I ask for Love. I ask for Forgiveness and Mercy. I ask that the women who leave this parking lot without their children would not become bitter, that they would know His mercy. I ask for boys to become men and fathers, fathers who defend their families. I ask for mother hens. I ask for doctors and nurses to admit what they already know is true and walk out. I ask for righteous judges in our nation's highest court. I ask for a spirit of adoption on God's Church.

One man approaches the fence to talk to our spokesperson. He and his wife have four children, whom he works two full-time jobs to provide for. She's pregnant, and in spite of him, refuses to spare the child. He had nearly talked her out of it last night, but when they called the clinic to cancel the apointment the people at the clinic told them no. She'd already taken some medication to ease the procedure and it was too late. He found out today that was a lie. He's considering divorce because he can't believe his wife would do this.

Twenty minutes before we left another frustrated father went back into the clinic to try to talk his girlfriend out of the abortion. We had to leave before any of them came back out.

The frustration was nearly overpowering. I couldn't get Isaiah 59 out of my head, and if I could have yelled with tape on my mouth I would have been.

"Behold, the LORD's hand is not shortened that it cannot save, nor His ear heavy that He cannot hear." I admit it: I got upset. "Is Your hand short that You cannot save?!" I know: free will and all that, but it had been two hours. I was restless and a little sore and frustrated.

And for all of that, probably a little closer to the heart that saw the world before it was.

worship team perks

Being on the Church in the Word Sunday morning worship team has it's perks. One of those perks is Bill Fetter.

Bill, for those of you who don't know, is the guitarist waaaay over on the right (your right, "house right"). He's the one smiling all the time. He and his wife are also on the Altar Team. You know the one.

Bill has a way with emails. That's one of the perks. These Worship Team emails are generally kept under wraps. They contain insanity not fit for the general population, so we tend to not leak them ... for your own safety. This one, though, is too good to keep quiet.

Tami (Remember Tami Hoban? Pastor's wife? Worship leader? She's kind of average height, red hair, really cute children? Oh ya.) has been gone forever at conferences and vacations. You know. Living like a rock star. Typical. Well she's supposed to be back in town sometime soon here, so Bill wrote her a Welcome Back email, which, of course, CC-ed the rest of the Team. It's like that. No secrets among us.

Here you go:

Hi Tami!

I wanted to take this time to welcome you back from your conference and vacation.
WELCOME HOME! WE MISSED YOU!

We all are excited to hear some of the things that you experienced at the conference and see some pictures from vacation.

I would also like to thank Mike and Dennis for the fantastic job they did while you were out being refreshed and renewed.

Things went very well and we all continued to grow in our craft and worship. However, you may find things a bit different due to some events that took place.

I'm not saying anything bad happened but as you know once a certain volume of water has passed under a bridge the bridge is never the same.

The one positive thing is that there were no arrests or jail time, and any lingering allegations of anything are just the whispers of the bitterly defeated, whining about something. Oh Boo Hoo all the hair on my arms have been burned off,.....Oh boo Hoo I can't hear out my left ear,.. Oh boo Hoo I walk with a limp now....... WOW what cry babies..... But things always work out for the best FOR the WINNERS!!!! and not the LOSERS..... Thats right babies the WINNERS write the HISTORY! READ IT AND WEEP! IN YOUR FACE!!!

Oh ...sorry... Back to the welcome home stuff!

We missed you but we became more of a cohesive team in your absents, caring and sharing.

Marching Band Sunday was a wonderful event that gave us all a chance to play John Phillip Sousa's version of Amazing Grace/ Break Free a new twist on worship that I think the congregation really hooked on to. The Uniforms were pretty cool too.

However the following weeks version of Fire Fall Down using real fire was a strong concept with a hard hitting message but getting everyone back in their seats after the fire dept. left was a problem.

Oh , by the way the new paisley/ plaid carpet looks cool.

And we used the chairs from the back of the church to replace the ones that got kind of wrecked in front. We did get some lawn chairs from a yard sale and they seem to be working fine.

Well in all we are so happy to have you back ready to roll. You will look excellent as do all the ladies on the worship team in our new South L.A. dew ragg rapper lids. Yours says
"Sup, YO Super TEEEEEEEEE Owwwww!" on the front. We wanted to keep yours a bit conservative, you know, being the team leader and Pastors wife and all.

Mikes scar is hardly noticeable and none of us really like wearing socks anyway. SO all is Good!

Remember this week is eye patch Sunday we have them ready for the first 300 in the building, yours has glitter on it, (of course) and the rest of us will just wear our basic patches that we can easily change from one eye to the other between songs.

As a side note I have the live chickens ready for release. I put them in Pastors office with a bunch of food to keep them quiet for the week. It should be fine there are only 72. I couldn't get the other 28 in they kept flopping out so I put them in the ladies bathroom.

So that is that, welcome back
See Ya!
Bill

insight for your morning

Richard Halverson, former Chaplain of the United States Senate:

In the beginning the church was a fellowship of men and women centering on the living Christ. Then the church moved to Greece, where it became a philosophy. Then it moved to Rome, where it became an institution. Next, it moved to Europe, where it became a culture. And, finally, it moved to America, where it became an enterprise.

randomness 'cause my brain is fried

First some videos.

This one just cracks me up. I still despise Verizon, but this is funny.




There are a tone of these here. Check out the street preacher one. It's hilarious.



What can I say? Mainstream marketing is going gorilla and they're good at it.



Finally, a trailer for a movie about a graffiti artist. I'm interested.



And - because I know you're curious - here are some of the random thoughts that are floating around in my brain:

One. I think Obama is the false prophet. I don't think he has it in him/meets the requirements to be the complete incarnation of the antichrist spirit that's going to wreak havoc here in a bit, but I tell you what: When that man has some sort of spiritual awakening and starts following a charistmatic religious leader who can work lying signs and wonders ... everyone will follow. I'm only partly kidding.

Two. The answer, for the last time, is Sin. For goodness sake. I've come across so many articles/blog posts/comment wars just in the past week about people losing their faith because they were exposed to corruption in the Church. Or because they just couldn't get over tens of thousands of children orphaned by AIDS. Why? How? (I'm being very melodramatic in my head right now.) Yes, those things are terrible, and not Christ-like, and the rest of us Christians disagree whole-heartedly.

But come on, you lost your faith because of it? Because of people? You lost your faith in an uncreated, beautiful, self-sacrificing, humble God because some very created, finite, horrible people happen to know of the same God? Knock it off. 'Cause if that's how we're going to play, I no longer believe in the U.S. government. Or our armed forces. Or local business, 'cause my husband had a run-in with a really rude bicycle repair shop owner last week. So now I will no longer ride my bike - despite the sense of freedom and the joy - because of the err of someone associated with bicycles.

Give me a break. And I realize I'm being kind of callous here, but I've heard/read it a dozen times in the past few days and it's really starting to irritate me. It's sin. People sin. People abuse children, share needles, have sex outside of marriage, etc. It's not God's fault. It's people's fault. Lose your faith in people, that makes more sense.

And you know, on the one hand we blame God for all of the stupid things that people do, but on the other hand we seem to get a kick out of rejecting God because "Christianity is all about rules." Christianity is not all about rules, but there are rules. And there are rules so that children don't get abused and so people don't die of AIDS.

It's sin. Freakin' stop it already.

Three. Twitter, if you haven't heard me say this before, is rad and weird. You know that earthquake in LA the other day? I knew about it at least 13 minutes before you did. Because I have Tweople in CA.

Just sitting at my desk and my TwitterFox box started going crazy with "Earthquake!" "That was a huge earthquake!" If you searched Twitter for "earthquake" in those 13 minutes, you would get a results page of the most recent 25 or so. By the time you scrolled to the bottom of the page (and we're talking about 25, 140-character-at-most messages) there would be a small box at the top telling you, "There have been 1024 new Tweets matching your results since you searched. Would you like to refresh?"

By the time CNN had any info up about the magnitude or the 2.8 after-shock it was old news.

That's cool. And that's weird. Welcome to the digital revolution.

worthy?

I've been reading First and Second Thessalonians over and over and over the past several days (and on and off for the past several weeks). I heard a teaching once - years ago - that challenged the audience to pick an epistle and read it every day for a month. I did it first with Philippians and wow. I highly recommend it, but this is about Thessalonians.

Usually the process starts to get boring around day four, which is where I can slip into "on and off" for a week or so. I'm past that with the Thess' now, and have moved into being completely blown away by the concept of suffering for the kingdom of God.

Most, if not all, of the early Church suffered for the name of Jesus, but from these two short letters, it's obvious that the Thess' suffered more persecution and tribulation than most of the others. What's really agonizing my soul, though, is the way Paul talks about it.

In 1 Thessalonians 2 (v. 13 -) Paul commends them in that when they heard the gospel, they received it as the word of God, and not the word of men. They believed that what they were hearing was of/from God, and how does Paul know? Because they did what other faithful churches did, and opened themselves to persecution for the Lord's name. Verse 14 starts "For you, brethren ..." They allowed the word of God to so work in their hearts that it incited their fellow countrymen to violence against them; violence that they persevered through instead of running from.

In 2 Thessalonians 1, Paul encourages their "patience and faith" through all the trials and persecutions, calling it "manifest evidence of the righteous judgment of God." Their endurance was manifest evidence of the righteousness of God, because it means they were found worthy to suffer for the kingdom, because "it is a righteous thing with God to repay with tribulation those who trouble you."

A couple verses later, Paul says they pray always that the Thessalonian church would be found worthy of that calling. When I think about being counted worthy, I tend to think about things like spending a lot of time in prayer, or giving to the Church or overseas missions. I don't think about being persecuted, but I think it's part of my mind that still needs to be renewed.

Jesus said, "Blessed are you when they persecute you." In Acts 5, the apostles leave the council excited that they had been "counted worthy" to suffer for Christ. I know the principle is there, and I believe it's coming to the Church in the West, but am I ready? Am I worthy?

And if enduring persecution is a sign that I've received the Word of God properly, and evidence of God's righteousness, what's the opposite? If persecution does come to our society, and I manage to evade it, I am not worthy of the Kingdom.

John 15:20/Remember the words I spoke to you: 'No servant is greater than his master.' If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also.

party at my place

It was a sleepy, Sunday afternoon. The way Sunday afternoons in July can tend to be. We got home from church. Timothy and I put jeans on. We put some of the groceries away. Two and I shared a pizza. We laid around: incapacitated by warm.

Timothy moved the laying around party to the bedroom, where there's at least a ceiling fan, by way of moving himself to the bedroom. Two and I soon followed and somehow, for some reason, the smack talk began.

"I will drop you, old man."

"Two, I'm laying down."

"Then I will pick you up and drop you."

Wisdom told me to remove myself from - literally - the middle of it, and just in time.

What followed, on the two-year-old IKEA bed, was what some may consider masculinity at it's finest - or most typical. With the pungent odor of testosterone thick in the air, Two made good on his promise to pick Timothy up and - from his knees - drop him.

The center support beam in the bed, however, also dropped. Manhood retreated for a moment as two, boyish grins turned my way - one from the edge of the bed and one from the canyon where the mattress once rested - begging, "This is funny, right?"

Given the shocked expressions where, in hindsight, there really shouldn't have been any, I had to admit that it was. And we did what three reasonable, responsible young adults should do when they've done something completely stupid that requires quick attention: We went to visit a friend at work for tea and cookies.

making humility difficult

Yes, yes, it's been a week and a half but I'm a busy lady, alright? I've been meaning to blog/brag on hanging out with Bianca in SC, so I'm going to do it and I don't care how tardy it is.

This lady is awesome. You probably know that, but she's more awesome now than she was when she moved away a year ago. I know, I know: it sounds totally impossible, but it's true.

We went over to Jeff and Bianca's for dinner one evening during our vacation. Lovely evening with another adorable couple they go to church with (and their Baby Simon who is adorable). Before dinner, the womens were standing around in the kitchen chatting and Bianca started telling me about this book she's reading.

"You should read this book. It will totally help you understand your husband."

Ya, I inhaled sharply when she said it too.

Immediately I got a little defensive; I understand my husband just fine! Then she explained she's reading Wild At Heart and started to tell me about it, so I got the context of her comment a little better.

She's really impressed with this book, so she told us all about it. One of the most remarkably insightful things the author talks about is that God formed Man in the wild (where there just weren't any laundry hampers). Then He created the beauty and relative order/tranquility of the garden, put the man in it, and there He created the woman. That in and of itself spoke volumes to me.

Another night, Jeff took Timothy out to go rock climbing/laser tagging/Buck Hunter-ing, and Bianca and I got food and chatted for hours. More about Wild At Heart, and then about stuff girls talk about - namely everything. Time and time again, though, I was (and I'm embarrassing her now I'm sure) struck by how completely level-headed, and big-picture, and - for lack of a more humble word - wise that woman is. I honestly left their place that night feeling like a better wife already.

So if you're in South Carolina, ladies, schedule some couch time with Bianca.

And Bianca, you need to blog some of this stuff, girl. Seriously.

Bound4Life

I spent the better part of my morning/early afternoon today with Sara and Bound4Life Chicago. I've known about Bound4Life for years, but this was my first siege ever. What an experience.

We were told to meet up with the team at The Prayer Furnace on Elston at 9 AM. At 8:55 there was no one there, but we discovered the parking lot behind the building. We moved the car and waited. For twelve minutes my flesh hoped no one would show so we could just go home, and my spirit bemoaned the idea. We came to stand, and I wanted to stand.

At 9:07 a van pulled in. We met a handful of people - including one young man who used to come to Switch before gas prices got too out of hand. Really nice people, and most of them were teenagers. We chatted about the cause, being in a band, and the Furnace. They're really comfortable people; I felt completely at home.

Just before 10 we got in what I am affectionately referring to as the Life Mobile. That thing is sweet. Jon explained some of the logistics on the way. When we're on "the line," we stand. If you want to kneel or sit that's fine, but back off the line to do it. If someone wants to talk, direct them to the spokesperson - identified by the bright orange vest. We're not here to talk to people; we're here to lay hold of heaven. Oh, and don't touch the fence. As long as we don't block the sidewalk and don't touch the fence, we can't be arrested.

A few minutes later, we pulled up outside a brown, brick building with a parking lot surrounded by an eight-foot, chain-link fence. The parking lot was half-full and license plates confessed that people had come from as far as Wisconsin and Ohio. Several young men waited or slept in and around cars.

On one side of the fenced parking lot stood almost a dozen senior citizens with rosary beads. They chanted in unison and despite the skeptic inside me, I knew that God saw their hearts. We smiled as we passed by to another side of the fence.

The orange vest had been previously covered in strips of red tape with "LIFE" written in bold, black letters. One by one, the first spokesperson for the morning put a piece on our backs, and handed us one for our mouths. Sara and I both having been served, we hesitated long enough to exchange glances. This is it. Here we go.

Tape clinging to my cheeks, I turned to face the fence. Ron was our first spokesperson for the day, and he walked down the line reading scripture and encouraging us that God hears and our prayers move heaven. He did this several times over the next three hours and I honestly don't know if I could have persevered without it.

During the next three hours we were given direction for our prayers. We spent time praying silently, but in unison, for the finances of the institution to dry up, for the hearts of the fathers to be moved with compassion in defense of their children, for forgiveness to grace the hearts of everyone inside, for righteous Supreme Court Justices. We spent time asking God for His heart for the unborn, and every time the church bells across the street tolled the hour, we knew that somewhere in America, another 183 children had been denied the call that God had for their lives. We spent time asking God to move the hearts of His Church for the unborn, and to release a spirit of adoption in us.

During the next three hours, my mouth got really dry. The skin around my mouth started to itch. My feet started to hurt, and my legs got really restless. My back started to get sore and as the sun came out, it got really warm.

During the next three hours we got applause and thanks from passers-by. We also got heckled and sworn at. One father got out of his car right in front of where we were standing and shouted at us, "I don't give a shit; she's got cancer." One man drove by and yelled, "Give it a rest! Don't you have anything better to do?" We glanced at each other down the line: absolutely not.

About two and a half hours into it, we stopped to share communion. Jon talked briefly about what we had and had not witnessed. Statistically speaking, about 40 children will have died inside that very building in the time we stood there. We didn't see any saved at the last minute this time, but "your stand here has been a memorial for those children who died, and heaven sees it."

In three hours, again - statistically speaking - about 560 children in America will die in the womb. With our final 15 minutes, we accepted silence again and counted to 560 with a word for each child. Jon suggested it could be a name, or a one-word prayer, but to get an idea for how many 560 is. I stood, face to the fence, and prayed.

One. Mercy.
Two. Justice.
Three. Forgiveness.
Four. Hope.
Five. Mercy.
Six. Justice.
Seven. Mercy.
Eight. Justice.
Nine. Mercy.
Ten. Justice.

I got to 180 and couldn't take it anymore, so I quit and finished out the hour in prayer.

It was a really intense day, and the three hours actually went by really quickly. I can't wait to get out there again next month. You should come with us.

Myrtle Beach

K. I can finally write about our time in Myrtle Beach because we've surprised both Jeff and Bianca on separate occasions (neither of which I had a camera ready for, which is a total shame).

We visited Jeffy at work yesterday. We actually tried to get him on our way through Conway Friday evening, but we got there 30 minutes after they closed early for the holiday. We drove around to the window and Timothy knocked. The girl on the other side yelled that they're closed and she couldn't open the window.

"DOES JEFF POMS WORK HERE?"

"YES."

"IS HE WORKING TOMORROW?"

"YA. HE SHOULD BE IN BY 8:30."

"K. THANK YOU!"

We managed to get back to Chick-fil-A during the lunch rush on Saturday. He had his back to us, filling orders so we just pointed. The girl at the register turned around, "Mr. Jeff. Mr. Jeff, I think you should turn around, please."

He stared. He stared for a good five to ten seconds. You could see the wheels spinning. "Holy crap!" So we had our first Chick-fil-A, got directions to their church, and swore him to secrecy.

Sometime Saturday evening to Sunday morning, he let on that he had a surprise for Bianca. She said she got suspicious as he thoroughly cleaned the house.

Bianca saw us before we saw her this morning. We parked. We started to walk up to the small crowd standing in front of the church building when out of no where we heard, "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!" I felt like the prodigal son coming home: she ran to meet us, we got a lot of hugs, and she almost cried. It was sweet. Surprise accomplished.

Then lunch and more beach. Food and beach is about all we've done so far, and that's okay.

Oh, and church was really good this morning. If you're ever in Myrtle Beach and you're looking to go to church, I can sincerely recommend Seacoast Vineyard. The sermon this morning was really good.

Blogger doesn't want me to upload pics, but you can see them here.

thoughts on obedience

I've been thinking about/dealing with this a lot in the past couple weeks and two things really stand out:

First, I take issue with a phrase we Christians like to throw around. It goes something like, "delayed obedience is disobedience."

There are some situations in which that may be true, but Jesus told a story about two sons. The first refused his father's order, but later regretted his response and did what he was asked. The second son agreed to his father, but never actually did what was asked. Which did his father's will? Of course, the parable is primarily discussing salvation, but which did his father's will? Jesus accepts the first son's delayed obedience.

If the Lord asks me to give an offering, and I refuse but the next day regret my response and give the offering is that disobedience? It's not perfect obedience, and perfect obedience would be the goal (because, like I said, some circumstances do apply and can't be made up for later), but is it disobedience? Meh.

Second, Christians need to think less sometimes.

Now don't hear what I'm not saying. I'm not saying we should be stupid. I'm not saying we should ignore apologetics. I'm not saying we shouldn't study the scripture. I'm not saying we shouldn't know the times. I am saying that when it comes to the issue of obedience, we may - sometimes - need to think less.

Because it seems to get us in a lot of trouble. We question and we wonder and we reason and we don't obey. It's not living by faith.

And the more I thought about this one, the more I thought about Jesus coming back. The bible says that if possible, even the elect will be deceived. It repeatedly calls that day "great" and "terrible." It talks about Jesus coming back to earth as a man to trample His enemies, and warns us to make sure our hearts are so right toward Him that we're not offended. Bottom line: He's always right; everything He does is just and good; our role is to trust and love.

So if we can't obey now (without the reasoning, the questioning, the doubting), when all He asks is for an offering or a simple (albeit counter-cultural) behavior or a spiritual discipline, how will we stand in love, faith and trust - proclaiming His goodness and mercy when the rest of the world is raging against Him?

lessons from the garden, chapter 3

We'll come back to the obedience sermon another day. I'm working that out in myself right now. In the meantime, I was in the garden yesterday.

"Know the Secrets"

If you didn't know anything about gardening, you could probably still do a decent job. You know from pictures and other gardens that you've seen that you need to remove the grass. You know that you should remove the weeds. You know that if it doesn't rain for a couple days, you need to water it, and there are directions on the back of the seed packets for how deep and far apart to plant. Your garden would grow, and you'd reap a good harvest.

It's easier, though, and your harvest is better if you know the secrets. Secrets are learned by doing the same thing for two or three years and figuring out how to do it better, and secrets are learned by gardening with your mother for years.

The same is true of discipleship. You can read your Bible by yourself and pray by yourself, and you'll do just fine. It's easier, though, and your harvest is better if you know the secrets.

Secret #1: Carrots take longer.
There is a patch of dirt in the middle of my garden where two rows of carrot seed has been planted (denoted left by the sticks in the foreground, behind which, nothing seems to be happening). Those are my carrots. Carrots take longer to show up top-side because they're roots; they grow down much further than other plants' roots.

I know that because my mom always grew carrots. If I didn't know that, though, I'd be sorely disappointed at the idea of planting two rows of carrots and not getting a single one to grow. I might dig up those rows and try to re-seed it. I might try to plant something else entirely. I might just stop watering and weeding that section. But I'm not doing any of that, because I know how carrots grow.

I also know that you have to just open your mouth and speak in tongues before it makes any sort of sense. I know that pride often starts as spiritual pride or false humility. I know that a miracle of healing happens instantly, but sometimes a supernatural answer-to-prayer healing takes a couple days. If I didn't know these things, I might ruin something.

Secret #2: It's best to water in the evening.
I thought this was something everyone knows, but I'm constantly driving through neighborhoods on the weekends and watching people water their lawns in the middle of the afternoon.

Watering any sort of plant - especially plants that you want to produce fruit - during a hot, sunny, summer day is a bad idea. As soon as you stop, the water will evaporate really quickly. First of all, all your water was wasted, and secondly, you can scorch your plants and leave them drier and worse off than they were before. Water your garden in the evening, as the sun sets and the air begins to cool, so they can drink deep.

Reading your bible, praying, giving, and all the rest, out of a religious attitude are like watering in full sun. You go through the motions because you know you should. You know that a garden needs water. As a Christian, you know you're supposed to read your bible everyday. If the garden is not ready to receive water, it often ends up worse than it began. If your heart and spirit are not ready to receive God's word or blessing, you become religious.

Secret #3: Puddles are only on the surface.
I used to watch my mom water the garden and warn her to not drown the poor plants. I would stand by as puddles began to form in our footprints left between rows of peas and know for sure that she was killing all of our hard work.

Finally, after watering one evening (because we watered in the evening), my mom guided me to the edge of the garden and told me to pull back a small layer of dirt with my finger. I did, and was shocked to find out that, despite the puddles, the soil only an inch down was completely dry!

Especially when the garden is new, and the plants are first growing, water away. If small puddles start to form, watch them for a minute, and if they soak into the dirt pretty quickly, you're okay. Those little veggies (except the carrots you can't see yet) haven't set very deep roots yet. When they get older and their roots are deeper, you don't need to water as much, but for now they need rich soil.

The seed that is the kingdom of God in my heart needs rich soil, especially the new ones. Things that have been planted for a while - like tithing - don't need a lot of teaching or encouragement because they've got roots and they're producing fruit.

New seed (or seed that was planted years ago but that has never been properly watered so it's never developed much root) need more help. The "slave of all" seed is one that, for me personally, doesn't have a lot of root yet, so I need to water it more and more - even when on the surface it seems like puddles are forming.

testing, testing ... is this thing obedient?

Obedience is better than sacrifice. Better than tithes. Better than financial offerings. Better than volunteering my every spare moment.

Three lessons in obedience in the past couple days.

One
During worship Friday night I was supposed to wait longer. I was supposed to encourage anyone there who did not yet speak in tongues, but wanted to, to trust God and open their mouths and speak. I was supposed to make a way, and I didn't. I found out later who it was for and repented. I pray that one will come back again, and that that gift will be received soon.

Nothing that I sacrificed - my time, finances, effort, passions - measure up to what I lost in that moment of disobedience because 24 hours later someone should be praying in the Spirit and she's not. I'm forgiven, sure, but that doesn't mean there aren't consequences.

Two
I really want to write a book about my experiences in Missouri in 2001. My freshman year of college and Pancake City. I've got stories for a book and, I believe, the ability to write them well. I think it would be really good. I got really, really excited about it. Four pages are done and saved on my hard drive right now.

But it in no way glorifies God. I've reasoned with my spirit that if it were wildly successful it could launch the writing career I've been secretly praying for and everything thereafter certainly would glorify God. I've reasoned that should some success come from it, I would make every effort to point back to Jesus. I've reasoned that if some profit came from it, I'd obviously tithe and then some.

But if writing is a gift, it's from God and it's meant for His glory alone. Not mine. Not Pancake City's. Do I want to glorify God with my talent, or become successful according to the world?

"What if I don't want you to be a successful writer?" He asked me that yesterday. Now, I believe that He wants me to use whatever gift He's put inside of me, and I believe He wants me to do well. But I still struggle with the hypothetical. What if? What if that's not what He wants me to do? Am I okay with that? Am I willing to walk away because He says so? How obedient am I?

Three
What if God asks you to break the rules? Not the law. Not His rules. My rules. What if I make a rule about qualifications for a position, a good rule, and He makes an exception? What if there's something bigger that He wants to do in or through someone and it requires breaking one of my rules?

Can I stand against criticisms (not from anyone in authority over me, because that's rebellion and that's different)? Can I stand before accusations of hypocrisy and do what He wants me to do? Where I've established excellence, can I sacrifice my reputation?


I think I've come to terms very recently with the last one. Number two is still really hurting me. I covet your prayers on that front.

There's more on this, but I'll save it for another day lest this become a novel.

1 Samuel 15:22b-23a//Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed than the fat of rams. For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, And stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry.

lessons from the garden, chapter 2

"Waiting."

1. A seed has to take root before it can show up above ground. Every day for the first week I check and double-check my rows and nothing. I know I did everything right, though, so I wait. And wait. And wait. And then one morning:


2. Clearing one problem will often make room for another one. We removed a lot of grass and the ants where very thankful. In no time, the patch of dirt destined to be a lush, fruitful garden was crawling with ants. Overcoming fear may open a door for pride. Overcoming pride may open a door for false humility (which is pride).

(And beware the counter-attack. I literally blasted a swarm of ants out of the garden and days later cannot keep them out of the kitchen sink.)

3. Weeding is tricky while you're waiting for a seed to grow. Some things are obviously weeds, but some are harder to tell. Especially if you're growing something new and you're not familiar with what the seedling looks like. As much as you want to pull out the weeds while they're small, sometimes you have to let them grow until you know for sure what you're pulling.

Weeding at this point becomes not fun really quickly. It starts out as a relaxing exercise, and a good excuse to put on shorts and be in the sunshine. With a lot of dirt and little actual crop sprouting, though, it gets tiresome in short order. You start to wonder why weeds grow so easily and crops take their time.

4. Draw your battle lines and defend them to the death (of the grass). Carving out a rough rectangle of dirt is good, but it helps immensely to clearly draw the lines. Timothy hauled some pieces from another part of the yard over to outline the garden a couple days ago. Not only does it look better, I now know where the grass is supposed to be and where it's not. I don't have to worry about getting carried away and killing too much grass around the edge, and I don't have an excuse to get lazy and let the grass slowly creep back in.

Draw your battle lines. Write them down. Post them on your mirror or fridge and hold the line like you would in a war. Because you're in a war. Timothy and I do not watch R-rated movies unless the rating is only for war-related violence. That's one of our lines. There have been movies that we really wanted to see, but we hold the line. We start with a 10% tithe and round up every month. There have been months that have been really, really hard to round up, but it's one of our battle lines.

5. Finally, remember that it's by faith and patience that we inherit the promises. Translation: when you've done all you can do, take a nap.

what fun

Some fun stuff for you:

Bored with Google? Viewzi is a pretty sweet new search engine. I really dig the Screen Shot view. My only gripe is that it's not quite as fast.

I saw this ad recently that really inspired me. The top of the page says "Imagine a president who stands for this." It then quotes Matthew 25:35-36. I was excited. I went to the website. I am now infuriated. What a scam.

This is a sweet shot of a tornado by a woman in Orchard, IA:


Kiva is a cool organization that links you to entrepreneurs in developing countries. You make short-term (about six month) "micro loans" to help them get their businesses off the ground, and they pay you back. (And then you loan your $25 to someone else.) Pretty cool.

The Jesus film is going anime:



Apparently the old film is visually outdated. Remaking the whole film, however, means re-translating it into something like a million languages. This way they can use the same audio. Watch the clip and then take the survey to help them out.

I want some of these.

And there's this cool website that makes word clouds for you. You pick the font, general layout, and a color scheme. Below are two I made (in about 30 seconds). The first is Revelation 4 and the second is the Sermon on the Mount. Cool.

in God we trust?

Here's a thought that I had ... while gardening (although it has nothing to do with gardening, that's tomorrow).

Christians like to adamantly defend the phrase "In God We Trust" on U.S. currency. We got all upset when we thought it wasn't on the new dollar coins. We say passionate things like, "When they take 'In God We Trust' off the money, I'm moving out of the country." (Which is strange to say anyway, because which country would you move to? No other nation that I know of has "In God We Trust" on their money, so the grass isn't really greener anywhere else is it?)

Why?

We want our country to recognize our God, sure. We want to ... what? ... honor God by "trusting" Him, in print, on our monies?

I wonder if God wants to be on our money.

Hear me out.

When you take a fifth grade class on a field trip, you sometimes put them all in the same shirt - with the school's name on it - so you can pick them out of a crowded museum. Or when a high school jazz band goes to compete, they're all wearing their school name. What do the teachers always tell them? They're supposed to not only fulfill the purpose of the day (attend the museum, do well at the competition, etc.), but they're supposed to be on their best behavior. Why? Because they are representing your school.

Similar phenomenon when Christians do silly things that are contrary to the word of God - like protest the funerals of homosexuals or military persons. They stand there in the name of Christianity, spewing hatred and all things not Christ-like, and I don't know about you but it irritates me. Because by association they are making me look bad. Non-Christians in this country think Christians are judgmental and hypocritical more than anything else.

So I wonder about God. I wonder if He looks at the United States of America as a collective body and sees

• The remorseless killing of 4000 babies every day
• Adultery that's as prevalent in the Church as without
• A pornography industry that makes more money than four major sports franchises combined
• The legalization of homosexual marriage

The list goes on and on. There are good things happening, sure, and I have faith that the nation as a whole can repent and turn back to God if it chooses, but in the meantime I wonder if God wants us wearing His name while we behave like this in front of the rest of creation. Isn't that kind of insulting? Hypocritical? Disrespectful?

Obviously, the best solution would be to get the laws of our land back to a place that honor God, but given scores of prophecies about the last days ... I mean I hate to be negative, but ...