Worship and Prayer

I got a piano. My very own piano. It's electric, but man is it beautiful. And it sounds amazing. I got a smashing deal on the thing too; the boss called it an "ex-employee discount."

Music's really coming to the fore-front lately. I suddenly want to write songs, which sounds like some cliche thing that anyone who has really been in music for over a decade would say. Every musician wants to write music, right? Faux. I was classically trained for eight years and that will intimidate you right out of attempting to write music. They don't even call it "writing music," it's "composing." Who am I to compose? Jeeze. I want to now though, and it's bugging me because I've never wanted to write music before and I don't want to disappoint myself. I know that's the wrong thing to say on so many levels, but that's where I'm at right now so if you cringed just then, pray for me.

A woman in my office was telling us this morning about her granddaughter who wrote the lyrics to this beautiful song that some major artist picked up. She played the song and everyone knew it but me (it's a secular song). I just got annoyed that someone with such a gift would waste it on everything that's falling away. I haven't actually sat down and made any real attempt to write a song, though, so it's like my flesh just wants to be jealous because that's the artistic angst thing to do and blah blah.

Part of me hestitates too because I don't feel qualified to write worship music. I listen to some of these beautiful, inspiring songs and think, "Wow. My heart is so not in that place." I wonder if I'm passionate enough for a good piece to flow out of me. I guess you'd tell me, though, that the Holy Spirit is plenty passionate and if I just let Him write I'm okay. You're good council.

The Harp & Bowl's been divine too. We actually had people come after the service last night, just for Harp & Bowl. One woman was telling us afterward about how she's been struggling in worship lately. That feeling of always having to press in to engage in worship had been overwhelming, but last night she used the term "sweet Spirit" more than once to describe the atmosphere.

Worship and prayer and worship and prayer and prayer and worship. It's almost like I'm practicing ... or training for something. Hmm.