It's that knot in your stomach that won't go away, and the weight of it sends you crashing to your knees.
It's an intensity that seems to stretch you in every direction in any dimension, and all at the same time.
It's an urgency that makes you want to scream just to scream, just scream - try to force the tension out of you! That makes you search out any spare moment to get alone with Him, even though every spare moment you get alone with Him it gets worse because it's Him getting close that all creation groans for!
It's the anticipation that draws your eyes to the sky as your spirit whispers, "What about now? What about now?" And when the sky remains sealed it's the knot and the urgency all over again, and like an impatient child the gentle response of checking, checking, checking is not enough and you cry out from the back seat, "Are we there yet?! Lord, how much longer?! I'm hungry! I want to get out of here and stretch! Are we there yet?! Abba, how much longer?!"
I just want to worship You, just want to pray, just want to be with You! I want to wash Your feet with my tears because I want to weep before Your throne because You're too good. And if my hair is a glory to me, I'll wipe your feet with it because You are my covering.
It's this burden that weighs on your body, spirit and soul - that's so terribly wonderful I could only ever want more.
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"... for thus were the days of their preparation apportioned: six months with oil of myrrh, and six months with perfumes and preparations for beautifying women. Thus prepared, each young woman went to the king." (Esther 2:12-13)
About Me
- Lex
- I am burdened for my generation, and those following after, to enter into the fullness of our destinies in Christ and pursue His promises with a violence!
3 comments:
Interesting your references to Mary and Martha and the hair being a glory to a woman, etc...I just listened to that CD you gave me a while back of Mike Bickle talking about Mary of Bethany. When I read your last few blog entries, esp. this one, I was like "where did I hear that recently?" and realized that was where. :) So the Holy Spirit is cool. He speaks the same thing to several hearts--I think, whoever will listen and be attentive--at the same time...maybe even the very same moment. I love when He does that.
"... the Holy Spirit is cool." wins Understatement of the Year. Ha.
But "Word." I'm ruined for this all of a sudden - but that's how He moves, right? Suddenly. My spirit hurts, but it's good and I'm not sure how that makes sense ... but I know it does.
My wife is the best.
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