Waiting

The India zine is done, hallelujah. Now I just have to print it.

I seem to be in a holding period right now, so forgive me if the blog hasn't been real fun. He refuses to encounter me. It's odd because I know all the right things to say about it and all the reasons why (I've read Deep Unto Deep twice now), but it's still a struggle. I know He's drawing me out, teaching me to press in, cultivating a hunger in my spirit if I'll allow it and not just give up ... but I still catch my heart in bitter complaint. I still catch my flesh trying to just sleep in this time - why bother getting up early if He's not going to meet you there? I still consider it, even though I know it's typical wrong response to what is happening. Weird. Don't worry, though, I'm pushing through.

"By night on my bed I sought the one I love; I sought Him, but I did not find Him. 'I will rise now,' I said, 'And go about the city; in the streets and in the squares I will seek the one I love.' I sought Him, but I did not find Him. The watchmen who go about the city found me; I said, 'Have you seen the One I love?' Scarcely had I passed by them, when I found the One I love. I held Him and would not let Him go ..." (Song of Solomon 3:1-3)