randomness 'cause my brain is fried

First some videos.

This one just cracks me up. I still despise Verizon, but this is funny.




There are a tone of these here. Check out the street preacher one. It's hilarious.



What can I say? Mainstream marketing is going gorilla and they're good at it.



Finally, a trailer for a movie about a graffiti artist. I'm interested.



And - because I know you're curious - here are some of the random thoughts that are floating around in my brain:

One. I think Obama is the false prophet. I don't think he has it in him/meets the requirements to be the complete incarnation of the antichrist spirit that's going to wreak havoc here in a bit, but I tell you what: When that man has some sort of spiritual awakening and starts following a charistmatic religious leader who can work lying signs and wonders ... everyone will follow. I'm only partly kidding.

Two. The answer, for the last time, is Sin. For goodness sake. I've come across so many articles/blog posts/comment wars just in the past week about people losing their faith because they were exposed to corruption in the Church. Or because they just couldn't get over tens of thousands of children orphaned by AIDS. Why? How? (I'm being very melodramatic in my head right now.) Yes, those things are terrible, and not Christ-like, and the rest of us Christians disagree whole-heartedly.

But come on, you lost your faith because of it? Because of people? You lost your faith in an uncreated, beautiful, self-sacrificing, humble God because some very created, finite, horrible people happen to know of the same God? Knock it off. 'Cause if that's how we're going to play, I no longer believe in the U.S. government. Or our armed forces. Or local business, 'cause my husband had a run-in with a really rude bicycle repair shop owner last week. So now I will no longer ride my bike - despite the sense of freedom and the joy - because of the err of someone associated with bicycles.

Give me a break. And I realize I'm being kind of callous here, but I've heard/read it a dozen times in the past few days and it's really starting to irritate me. It's sin. People sin. People abuse children, share needles, have sex outside of marriage, etc. It's not God's fault. It's people's fault. Lose your faith in people, that makes more sense.

And you know, on the one hand we blame God for all of the stupid things that people do, but on the other hand we seem to get a kick out of rejecting God because "Christianity is all about rules." Christianity is not all about rules, but there are rules. And there are rules so that children don't get abused and so people don't die of AIDS.

It's sin. Freakin' stop it already.

Three. Twitter, if you haven't heard me say this before, is rad and weird. You know that earthquake in LA the other day? I knew about it at least 13 minutes before you did. Because I have Tweople in CA.

Just sitting at my desk and my TwitterFox box started going crazy with "Earthquake!" "That was a huge earthquake!" If you searched Twitter for "earthquake" in those 13 minutes, you would get a results page of the most recent 25 or so. By the time you scrolled to the bottom of the page (and we're talking about 25, 140-character-at-most messages) there would be a small box at the top telling you, "There have been 1024 new Tweets matching your results since you searched. Would you like to refresh?"

By the time CNN had any info up about the magnitude or the 2.8 after-shock it was old news.

That's cool. And that's weird. Welcome to the digital revolution.

worthy?

I've been reading First and Second Thessalonians over and over and over the past several days (and on and off for the past several weeks). I heard a teaching once - years ago - that challenged the audience to pick an epistle and read it every day for a month. I did it first with Philippians and wow. I highly recommend it, but this is about Thessalonians.

Usually the process starts to get boring around day four, which is where I can slip into "on and off" for a week or so. I'm past that with the Thess' now, and have moved into being completely blown away by the concept of suffering for the kingdom of God.

Most, if not all, of the early Church suffered for the name of Jesus, but from these two short letters, it's obvious that the Thess' suffered more persecution and tribulation than most of the others. What's really agonizing my soul, though, is the way Paul talks about it.

In 1 Thessalonians 2 (v. 13 -) Paul commends them in that when they heard the gospel, they received it as the word of God, and not the word of men. They believed that what they were hearing was of/from God, and how does Paul know? Because they did what other faithful churches did, and opened themselves to persecution for the Lord's name. Verse 14 starts "For you, brethren ..." They allowed the word of God to so work in their hearts that it incited their fellow countrymen to violence against them; violence that they persevered through instead of running from.

In 2 Thessalonians 1, Paul encourages their "patience and faith" through all the trials and persecutions, calling it "manifest evidence of the righteous judgment of God." Their endurance was manifest evidence of the righteousness of God, because it means they were found worthy to suffer for the kingdom, because "it is a righteous thing with God to repay with tribulation those who trouble you."

A couple verses later, Paul says they pray always that the Thessalonian church would be found worthy of that calling. When I think about being counted worthy, I tend to think about things like spending a lot of time in prayer, or giving to the Church or overseas missions. I don't think about being persecuted, but I think it's part of my mind that still needs to be renewed.

Jesus said, "Blessed are you when they persecute you." In Acts 5, the apostles leave the council excited that they had been "counted worthy" to suffer for Christ. I know the principle is there, and I believe it's coming to the Church in the West, but am I ready? Am I worthy?

And if enduring persecution is a sign that I've received the Word of God properly, and evidence of God's righteousness, what's the opposite? If persecution does come to our society, and I manage to evade it, I am not worthy of the Kingdom.

John 15:20/Remember the words I spoke to you: 'No servant is greater than his master.' If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also.

party at my place

It was a sleepy, Sunday afternoon. The way Sunday afternoons in July can tend to be. We got home from church. Timothy and I put jeans on. We put some of the groceries away. Two and I shared a pizza. We laid around: incapacitated by warm.

Timothy moved the laying around party to the bedroom, where there's at least a ceiling fan, by way of moving himself to the bedroom. Two and I soon followed and somehow, for some reason, the smack talk began.

"I will drop you, old man."

"Two, I'm laying down."

"Then I will pick you up and drop you."

Wisdom told me to remove myself from - literally - the middle of it, and just in time.

What followed, on the two-year-old IKEA bed, was what some may consider masculinity at it's finest - or most typical. With the pungent odor of testosterone thick in the air, Two made good on his promise to pick Timothy up and - from his knees - drop him.

The center support beam in the bed, however, also dropped. Manhood retreated for a moment as two, boyish grins turned my way - one from the edge of the bed and one from the canyon where the mattress once rested - begging, "This is funny, right?"

Given the shocked expressions where, in hindsight, there really shouldn't have been any, I had to admit that it was. And we did what three reasonable, responsible young adults should do when they've done something completely stupid that requires quick attention: We went to visit a friend at work for tea and cookies.

making humility difficult

Yes, yes, it's been a week and a half but I'm a busy lady, alright? I've been meaning to blog/brag on hanging out with Bianca in SC, so I'm going to do it and I don't care how tardy it is.

This lady is awesome. You probably know that, but she's more awesome now than she was when she moved away a year ago. I know, I know: it sounds totally impossible, but it's true.

We went over to Jeff and Bianca's for dinner one evening during our vacation. Lovely evening with another adorable couple they go to church with (and their Baby Simon who is adorable). Before dinner, the womens were standing around in the kitchen chatting and Bianca started telling me about this book she's reading.

"You should read this book. It will totally help you understand your husband."

Ya, I inhaled sharply when she said it too.

Immediately I got a little defensive; I understand my husband just fine! Then she explained she's reading Wild At Heart and started to tell me about it, so I got the context of her comment a little better.

She's really impressed with this book, so she told us all about it. One of the most remarkably insightful things the author talks about is that God formed Man in the wild (where there just weren't any laundry hampers). Then He created the beauty and relative order/tranquility of the garden, put the man in it, and there He created the woman. That in and of itself spoke volumes to me.

Another night, Jeff took Timothy out to go rock climbing/laser tagging/Buck Hunter-ing, and Bianca and I got food and chatted for hours. More about Wild At Heart, and then about stuff girls talk about - namely everything. Time and time again, though, I was (and I'm embarrassing her now I'm sure) struck by how completely level-headed, and big-picture, and - for lack of a more humble word - wise that woman is. I honestly left their place that night feeling like a better wife already.

So if you're in South Carolina, ladies, schedule some couch time with Bianca.

And Bianca, you need to blog some of this stuff, girl. Seriously.

Bound4Life

I spent the better part of my morning/early afternoon today with Sara and Bound4Life Chicago. I've known about Bound4Life for years, but this was my first siege ever. What an experience.

We were told to meet up with the team at The Prayer Furnace on Elston at 9 AM. At 8:55 there was no one there, but we discovered the parking lot behind the building. We moved the car and waited. For twelve minutes my flesh hoped no one would show so we could just go home, and my spirit bemoaned the idea. We came to stand, and I wanted to stand.

At 9:07 a van pulled in. We met a handful of people - including one young man who used to come to Switch before gas prices got too out of hand. Really nice people, and most of them were teenagers. We chatted about the cause, being in a band, and the Furnace. They're really comfortable people; I felt completely at home.

Just before 10 we got in what I am affectionately referring to as the Life Mobile. That thing is sweet. Jon explained some of the logistics on the way. When we're on "the line," we stand. If you want to kneel or sit that's fine, but back off the line to do it. If someone wants to talk, direct them to the spokesperson - identified by the bright orange vest. We're not here to talk to people; we're here to lay hold of heaven. Oh, and don't touch the fence. As long as we don't block the sidewalk and don't touch the fence, we can't be arrested.

A few minutes later, we pulled up outside a brown, brick building with a parking lot surrounded by an eight-foot, chain-link fence. The parking lot was half-full and license plates confessed that people had come from as far as Wisconsin and Ohio. Several young men waited or slept in and around cars.

On one side of the fenced parking lot stood almost a dozen senior citizens with rosary beads. They chanted in unison and despite the skeptic inside me, I knew that God saw their hearts. We smiled as we passed by to another side of the fence.

The orange vest had been previously covered in strips of red tape with "LIFE" written in bold, black letters. One by one, the first spokesperson for the morning put a piece on our backs, and handed us one for our mouths. Sara and I both having been served, we hesitated long enough to exchange glances. This is it. Here we go.

Tape clinging to my cheeks, I turned to face the fence. Ron was our first spokesperson for the day, and he walked down the line reading scripture and encouraging us that God hears and our prayers move heaven. He did this several times over the next three hours and I honestly don't know if I could have persevered without it.

During the next three hours we were given direction for our prayers. We spent time praying silently, but in unison, for the finances of the institution to dry up, for the hearts of the fathers to be moved with compassion in defense of their children, for forgiveness to grace the hearts of everyone inside, for righteous Supreme Court Justices. We spent time asking God for His heart for the unborn, and every time the church bells across the street tolled the hour, we knew that somewhere in America, another 183 children had been denied the call that God had for their lives. We spent time asking God to move the hearts of His Church for the unborn, and to release a spirit of adoption in us.

During the next three hours, my mouth got really dry. The skin around my mouth started to itch. My feet started to hurt, and my legs got really restless. My back started to get sore and as the sun came out, it got really warm.

During the next three hours we got applause and thanks from passers-by. We also got heckled and sworn at. One father got out of his car right in front of where we were standing and shouted at us, "I don't give a shit; she's got cancer." One man drove by and yelled, "Give it a rest! Don't you have anything better to do?" We glanced at each other down the line: absolutely not.

About two and a half hours into it, we stopped to share communion. Jon talked briefly about what we had and had not witnessed. Statistically speaking, about 40 children will have died inside that very building in the time we stood there. We didn't see any saved at the last minute this time, but "your stand here has been a memorial for those children who died, and heaven sees it."

In three hours, again - statistically speaking - about 560 children in America will die in the womb. With our final 15 minutes, we accepted silence again and counted to 560 with a word for each child. Jon suggested it could be a name, or a one-word prayer, but to get an idea for how many 560 is. I stood, face to the fence, and prayed.

One. Mercy.
Two. Justice.
Three. Forgiveness.
Four. Hope.
Five. Mercy.
Six. Justice.
Seven. Mercy.
Eight. Justice.
Nine. Mercy.
Ten. Justice.

I got to 180 and couldn't take it anymore, so I quit and finished out the hour in prayer.

It was a really intense day, and the three hours actually went by really quickly. I can't wait to get out there again next month. You should come with us.

Myrtle Beach

K. I can finally write about our time in Myrtle Beach because we've surprised both Jeff and Bianca on separate occasions (neither of which I had a camera ready for, which is a total shame).

We visited Jeffy at work yesterday. We actually tried to get him on our way through Conway Friday evening, but we got there 30 minutes after they closed early for the holiday. We drove around to the window and Timothy knocked. The girl on the other side yelled that they're closed and she couldn't open the window.

"DOES JEFF POMS WORK HERE?"

"YES."

"IS HE WORKING TOMORROW?"

"YA. HE SHOULD BE IN BY 8:30."

"K. THANK YOU!"

We managed to get back to Chick-fil-A during the lunch rush on Saturday. He had his back to us, filling orders so we just pointed. The girl at the register turned around, "Mr. Jeff. Mr. Jeff, I think you should turn around, please."

He stared. He stared for a good five to ten seconds. You could see the wheels spinning. "Holy crap!" So we had our first Chick-fil-A, got directions to their church, and swore him to secrecy.

Sometime Saturday evening to Sunday morning, he let on that he had a surprise for Bianca. She said she got suspicious as he thoroughly cleaned the house.

Bianca saw us before we saw her this morning. We parked. We started to walk up to the small crowd standing in front of the church building when out of no where we heard, "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!" I felt like the prodigal son coming home: she ran to meet us, we got a lot of hugs, and she almost cried. It was sweet. Surprise accomplished.

Then lunch and more beach. Food and beach is about all we've done so far, and that's okay.

Oh, and church was really good this morning. If you're ever in Myrtle Beach and you're looking to go to church, I can sincerely recommend Seacoast Vineyard. The sermon this morning was really good.

Blogger doesn't want me to upload pics, but you can see them here.

thoughts on obedience

I've been thinking about/dealing with this a lot in the past couple weeks and two things really stand out:

First, I take issue with a phrase we Christians like to throw around. It goes something like, "delayed obedience is disobedience."

There are some situations in which that may be true, but Jesus told a story about two sons. The first refused his father's order, but later regretted his response and did what he was asked. The second son agreed to his father, but never actually did what was asked. Which did his father's will? Of course, the parable is primarily discussing salvation, but which did his father's will? Jesus accepts the first son's delayed obedience.

If the Lord asks me to give an offering, and I refuse but the next day regret my response and give the offering is that disobedience? It's not perfect obedience, and perfect obedience would be the goal (because, like I said, some circumstances do apply and can't be made up for later), but is it disobedience? Meh.

Second, Christians need to think less sometimes.

Now don't hear what I'm not saying. I'm not saying we should be stupid. I'm not saying we should ignore apologetics. I'm not saying we shouldn't study the scripture. I'm not saying we shouldn't know the times. I am saying that when it comes to the issue of obedience, we may - sometimes - need to think less.

Because it seems to get us in a lot of trouble. We question and we wonder and we reason and we don't obey. It's not living by faith.

And the more I thought about this one, the more I thought about Jesus coming back. The bible says that if possible, even the elect will be deceived. It repeatedly calls that day "great" and "terrible." It talks about Jesus coming back to earth as a man to trample His enemies, and warns us to make sure our hearts are so right toward Him that we're not offended. Bottom line: He's always right; everything He does is just and good; our role is to trust and love.

So if we can't obey now (without the reasoning, the questioning, the doubting), when all He asks is for an offering or a simple (albeit counter-cultural) behavior or a spiritual discipline, how will we stand in love, faith and trust - proclaiming His goodness and mercy when the rest of the world is raging against Him?

lessons from the garden, chapter 3

We'll come back to the obedience sermon another day. I'm working that out in myself right now. In the meantime, I was in the garden yesterday.

"Know the Secrets"

If you didn't know anything about gardening, you could probably still do a decent job. You know from pictures and other gardens that you've seen that you need to remove the grass. You know that you should remove the weeds. You know that if it doesn't rain for a couple days, you need to water it, and there are directions on the back of the seed packets for how deep and far apart to plant. Your garden would grow, and you'd reap a good harvest.

It's easier, though, and your harvest is better if you know the secrets. Secrets are learned by doing the same thing for two or three years and figuring out how to do it better, and secrets are learned by gardening with your mother for years.

The same is true of discipleship. You can read your Bible by yourself and pray by yourself, and you'll do just fine. It's easier, though, and your harvest is better if you know the secrets.

Secret #1: Carrots take longer.
There is a patch of dirt in the middle of my garden where two rows of carrot seed has been planted (denoted left by the sticks in the foreground, behind which, nothing seems to be happening). Those are my carrots. Carrots take longer to show up top-side because they're roots; they grow down much further than other plants' roots.

I know that because my mom always grew carrots. If I didn't know that, though, I'd be sorely disappointed at the idea of planting two rows of carrots and not getting a single one to grow. I might dig up those rows and try to re-seed it. I might try to plant something else entirely. I might just stop watering and weeding that section. But I'm not doing any of that, because I know how carrots grow.

I also know that you have to just open your mouth and speak in tongues before it makes any sort of sense. I know that pride often starts as spiritual pride or false humility. I know that a miracle of healing happens instantly, but sometimes a supernatural answer-to-prayer healing takes a couple days. If I didn't know these things, I might ruin something.

Secret #2: It's best to water in the evening.
I thought this was something everyone knows, but I'm constantly driving through neighborhoods on the weekends and watching people water their lawns in the middle of the afternoon.

Watering any sort of plant - especially plants that you want to produce fruit - during a hot, sunny, summer day is a bad idea. As soon as you stop, the water will evaporate really quickly. First of all, all your water was wasted, and secondly, you can scorch your plants and leave them drier and worse off than they were before. Water your garden in the evening, as the sun sets and the air begins to cool, so they can drink deep.

Reading your bible, praying, giving, and all the rest, out of a religious attitude are like watering in full sun. You go through the motions because you know you should. You know that a garden needs water. As a Christian, you know you're supposed to read your bible everyday. If the garden is not ready to receive water, it often ends up worse than it began. If your heart and spirit are not ready to receive God's word or blessing, you become religious.

Secret #3: Puddles are only on the surface.
I used to watch my mom water the garden and warn her to not drown the poor plants. I would stand by as puddles began to form in our footprints left between rows of peas and know for sure that she was killing all of our hard work.

Finally, after watering one evening (because we watered in the evening), my mom guided me to the edge of the garden and told me to pull back a small layer of dirt with my finger. I did, and was shocked to find out that, despite the puddles, the soil only an inch down was completely dry!

Especially when the garden is new, and the plants are first growing, water away. If small puddles start to form, watch them for a minute, and if they soak into the dirt pretty quickly, you're okay. Those little veggies (except the carrots you can't see yet) haven't set very deep roots yet. When they get older and their roots are deeper, you don't need to water as much, but for now they need rich soil.

The seed that is the kingdom of God in my heart needs rich soil, especially the new ones. Things that have been planted for a while - like tithing - don't need a lot of teaching or encouragement because they've got roots and they're producing fruit.

New seed (or seed that was planted years ago but that has never been properly watered so it's never developed much root) need more help. The "slave of all" seed is one that, for me personally, doesn't have a lot of root yet, so I need to water it more and more - even when on the surface it seems like puddles are forming.

testing, testing ... is this thing obedient?

Obedience is better than sacrifice. Better than tithes. Better than financial offerings. Better than volunteering my every spare moment.

Three lessons in obedience in the past couple days.

One
During worship Friday night I was supposed to wait longer. I was supposed to encourage anyone there who did not yet speak in tongues, but wanted to, to trust God and open their mouths and speak. I was supposed to make a way, and I didn't. I found out later who it was for and repented. I pray that one will come back again, and that that gift will be received soon.

Nothing that I sacrificed - my time, finances, effort, passions - measure up to what I lost in that moment of disobedience because 24 hours later someone should be praying in the Spirit and she's not. I'm forgiven, sure, but that doesn't mean there aren't consequences.

Two
I really want to write a book about my experiences in Missouri in 2001. My freshman year of college and Pancake City. I've got stories for a book and, I believe, the ability to write them well. I think it would be really good. I got really, really excited about it. Four pages are done and saved on my hard drive right now.

But it in no way glorifies God. I've reasoned with my spirit that if it were wildly successful it could launch the writing career I've been secretly praying for and everything thereafter certainly would glorify God. I've reasoned that should some success come from it, I would make every effort to point back to Jesus. I've reasoned that if some profit came from it, I'd obviously tithe and then some.

But if writing is a gift, it's from God and it's meant for His glory alone. Not mine. Not Pancake City's. Do I want to glorify God with my talent, or become successful according to the world?

"What if I don't want you to be a successful writer?" He asked me that yesterday. Now, I believe that He wants me to use whatever gift He's put inside of me, and I believe He wants me to do well. But I still struggle with the hypothetical. What if? What if that's not what He wants me to do? Am I okay with that? Am I willing to walk away because He says so? How obedient am I?

Three
What if God asks you to break the rules? Not the law. Not His rules. My rules. What if I make a rule about qualifications for a position, a good rule, and He makes an exception? What if there's something bigger that He wants to do in or through someone and it requires breaking one of my rules?

Can I stand against criticisms (not from anyone in authority over me, because that's rebellion and that's different)? Can I stand before accusations of hypocrisy and do what He wants me to do? Where I've established excellence, can I sacrifice my reputation?


I think I've come to terms very recently with the last one. Number two is still really hurting me. I covet your prayers on that front.

There's more on this, but I'll save it for another day lest this become a novel.

1 Samuel 15:22b-23a//Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed than the fat of rams. For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, And stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry.

lessons from the garden, chapter 2

"Waiting."

1. A seed has to take root before it can show up above ground. Every day for the first week I check and double-check my rows and nothing. I know I did everything right, though, so I wait. And wait. And wait. And then one morning:


2. Clearing one problem will often make room for another one. We removed a lot of grass and the ants where very thankful. In no time, the patch of dirt destined to be a lush, fruitful garden was crawling with ants. Overcoming fear may open a door for pride. Overcoming pride may open a door for false humility (which is pride).

(And beware the counter-attack. I literally blasted a swarm of ants out of the garden and days later cannot keep them out of the kitchen sink.)

3. Weeding is tricky while you're waiting for a seed to grow. Some things are obviously weeds, but some are harder to tell. Especially if you're growing something new and you're not familiar with what the seedling looks like. As much as you want to pull out the weeds while they're small, sometimes you have to let them grow until you know for sure what you're pulling.

Weeding at this point becomes not fun really quickly. It starts out as a relaxing exercise, and a good excuse to put on shorts and be in the sunshine. With a lot of dirt and little actual crop sprouting, though, it gets tiresome in short order. You start to wonder why weeds grow so easily and crops take their time.

4. Draw your battle lines and defend them to the death (of the grass). Carving out a rough rectangle of dirt is good, but it helps immensely to clearly draw the lines. Timothy hauled some pieces from another part of the yard over to outline the garden a couple days ago. Not only does it look better, I now know where the grass is supposed to be and where it's not. I don't have to worry about getting carried away and killing too much grass around the edge, and I don't have an excuse to get lazy and let the grass slowly creep back in.

Draw your battle lines. Write them down. Post them on your mirror or fridge and hold the line like you would in a war. Because you're in a war. Timothy and I do not watch R-rated movies unless the rating is only for war-related violence. That's one of our lines. There have been movies that we really wanted to see, but we hold the line. We start with a 10% tithe and round up every month. There have been months that have been really, really hard to round up, but it's one of our battle lines.

5. Finally, remember that it's by faith and patience that we inherit the promises. Translation: when you've done all you can do, take a nap.

what fun

Some fun stuff for you:

Bored with Google? Viewzi is a pretty sweet new search engine. I really dig the Screen Shot view. My only gripe is that it's not quite as fast.

I saw this ad recently that really inspired me. The top of the page says "Imagine a president who stands for this." It then quotes Matthew 25:35-36. I was excited. I went to the website. I am now infuriated. What a scam.

This is a sweet shot of a tornado by a woman in Orchard, IA:


Kiva is a cool organization that links you to entrepreneurs in developing countries. You make short-term (about six month) "micro loans" to help them get their businesses off the ground, and they pay you back. (And then you loan your $25 to someone else.) Pretty cool.

The Jesus film is going anime:



Apparently the old film is visually outdated. Remaking the whole film, however, means re-translating it into something like a million languages. This way they can use the same audio. Watch the clip and then take the survey to help them out.

I want some of these.

And there's this cool website that makes word clouds for you. You pick the font, general layout, and a color scheme. Below are two I made (in about 30 seconds). The first is Revelation 4 and the second is the Sermon on the Mount. Cool.

in God we trust?

Here's a thought that I had ... while gardening (although it has nothing to do with gardening, that's tomorrow).

Christians like to adamantly defend the phrase "In God We Trust" on U.S. currency. We got all upset when we thought it wasn't on the new dollar coins. We say passionate things like, "When they take 'In God We Trust' off the money, I'm moving out of the country." (Which is strange to say anyway, because which country would you move to? No other nation that I know of has "In God We Trust" on their money, so the grass isn't really greener anywhere else is it?)

Why?

We want our country to recognize our God, sure. We want to ... what? ... honor God by "trusting" Him, in print, on our monies?

I wonder if God wants to be on our money.

Hear me out.

When you take a fifth grade class on a field trip, you sometimes put them all in the same shirt - with the school's name on it - so you can pick them out of a crowded museum. Or when a high school jazz band goes to compete, they're all wearing their school name. What do the teachers always tell them? They're supposed to not only fulfill the purpose of the day (attend the museum, do well at the competition, etc.), but they're supposed to be on their best behavior. Why? Because they are representing your school.

Similar phenomenon when Christians do silly things that are contrary to the word of God - like protest the funerals of homosexuals or military persons. They stand there in the name of Christianity, spewing hatred and all things not Christ-like, and I don't know about you but it irritates me. Because by association they are making me look bad. Non-Christians in this country think Christians are judgmental and hypocritical more than anything else.

So I wonder about God. I wonder if He looks at the United States of America as a collective body and sees

• The remorseless killing of 4000 babies every day
• Adultery that's as prevalent in the Church as without
• A pornography industry that makes more money than four major sports franchises combined
• The legalization of homosexual marriage

The list goes on and on. There are good things happening, sure, and I have faith that the nation as a whole can repent and turn back to God if it chooses, but in the meantime I wonder if God wants us wearing His name while we behave like this in front of the rest of creation. Isn't that kind of insulting? Hypocritical? Disrespectful?

Obviously, the best solution would be to get the laws of our land back to a place that honor God, but given scores of prophecies about the last days ... I mean I hate to be negative, but ...

lessons from the garden, chapter 1

"Preparing the Soil"

My mom used to have a cute little wall hanging in her house that said, "I'm closer to God in my garden than anywhere else on earth." (If you started to make a theological argument in your head when you read that, you need to take a deep breath before reading further.)

I (dramatic pause) have a garden. My dad killed a patch of grass in our back yard, and last Saturday my wonderful husband tilled it up. I've had many blissful hours since then in the patch of dirt that was left behind.

And you know how it is hanging out with Jesus: everything becomes an object lesson. So here we go.

Well, wait. Before we begin allow me to explain some Christian jargon to any non-Christians who may be reading. Jesus liked to compare the Word of God (the written one and the words Jesus spoke day after day) to a seed. Because He's good with analogies, He, then, commonly referred to our hearts as the soil said seed was planted in to bring forth gorgeous plants and delicious foods (i.e. peace, love, joy, kindness, patience, etc.). K? So there's an unspoken moral to this silliness.

Here we go. What I learned about myself while starting a garden:

1. It's much harder to start a new garden than to start a new season in the garden that my mom has been cultivating for years. A lot harder, and for obvious reasons.

2. It's impossible to till up live grass. It's simply too resilient. Sometimes things are perfectly normal and perfectly fine need to die so you can get to good soil.

3. It's still hard to till up dead grass. God bless my wonderful husband. He tilled and raked and tilled and raked and then I think tilled a third time. Just getting to fresh soil, where a seed can be safely planted, is half the battle.

And it needs to be done way ahead of time. You can't chose the day you want to plant and go out that day to kill the grass. The grass took a week to die and tilling it up took most of the morning. If the soil hadn't been prepared ahead of time, the seed wouldn't grow.

4. Doing your best means you will get dirty. Despite all the labor that had already gone into it, I spent a day and a half on my knees, digging up the dirt with my hands and a small garden spade. The garden might have grown alright if I hadn't, but I really got down to the good dirt.


5. Purity is key/anything can be a weed. If I say "weed" you think - well, alright, some of you think of drugs but past that - of dandelions and thistles. In a cultivated garden, though, anything besides what is planted is a weed. The grass that was normal - even necessary - a few weeks ago is now a weed, so all of it has to come out lest it spread ... like a weed.

6. You have to tend the whole thing. My strategy was to dig up a two-foot wide strip and then plant something, and then dig up the next two feet and plant something. Each thin row of seed needs to be a foot to a foot-and-a-half apart.

After a couple rows the temptation was to leave the soil between the rows and just dig up and purify the thin strip where I was going to plant. I thought about it for a minute and then realized that if I don't take care of the soil between the rows, whatever is still rooted there will grow up and I'll have to deal with it later. Later, however, it will have recovered from three tillings and be more rooted and I'll have to be more careful not to kill the veggies growing next to it.

7. Know your enemies and show no mercy. Earthworms are not your enemies. Quite the contrary. Earthworms aerate the soil and plants like aerated soil. Earthworms are you friends. Beetle larvae, however, are not your friends. They will eventually become beetles and likely eat your veggies. The earthworms I was careful to spare. The beetle larvae I threw into the street.

There you go. I'm sure there will be more lessons as things start to grow and harvesting kicks in. I know, I know, you're on the edge of your seat but you'll just have to wait.

warning

It's been almost a week and the wake left by whatever tore through our neighborhood last Thursday morning is still obvious.

Across the street, our neighbors' fence is still in shambles. A dozen yard waste bags stand at attention along the curb, and the stump near the street is still fresh.

At the other end of the block, someone's tree remains obviously amputated and ashamed next to the porch it accidentally destroyed. It's future is uncertain. Part of the roof is still missing, and logs line the street for the width of the block.

Windshields have been replaced. Gutters are being repaired, and every day when I come home I stare up at the dead branch hanging precariously at the very top of our injured tree. I'd rather it fall when no one is around than have to pay someone to pull it down.

My parents live in McHenry - a good 30 minutes north - and we laughed about their non-response to the tornado siren that went off Thursday morning. They live blocks away from the fire department, so sirens are not uncommon.

Coworkers, friends, church family have all shared stories of bunkering down in basements and pantries at the sound of the alarms in Crystal Lake, Lake in the Hills, Dundee, and Cary. No one has destruction stories to rival ours, but we're also the only ones who never heard a siren.

I've had prophetic words spoken over/at me for years. You hang out with people who believe the New Testament and it happens. One has stuck with me more than the others for a little over two years now, and it had to do with being a siren - the air raid kind, not the nude mermaid kind. If there was one that I could say with all certainty was the word of the Lord it was that one.

And to an extent it's true of all Christians. Our job is to prepare the way. We're an army of John the Baptists. We're the voices in the wilderness that, when everything looks lost, speak truth.

Our neighborhood was the hardest hit, and we were the only ones who did not hear a siren. I was talking to Holy Spirit about the irony of it and he stopped me in my tracks:

"Be ready."

Tornado sirens are tested on the first Tuesday of every month at 10 AM. We're all used to it. We hardly flinch when they go off during staff meetings or classes. The first Tuesday of the month at 10 AM, however, is not the purpose of the siren.

The purpose of the siren is to warn people of the coming danger. Said siren could nail every first Tuesday of the month at 10 AM with stunning accuracy, and still ultimately fail, rendering itself useless, if it doesn't go off when danger is imminent.

Be ready.

In Matthew 24, Jesus is talking to His disciples. Verse three even says they came to Him privately. He wasn't talking to the church leaders. He wasn't talking to the masses. He was talking to the twelve, and in verse 42 He says, "Watch therefore, for you do not know what hour your Lord is coming."

Matthew 24:44//Therefore you also be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.

wreckage

It was 1:30 on Thursday morning when a freight train rolled through the neighborhood:



The next morning:





There are more pictures here.

What began as a mysteriously long gust of wind soon shook the whole house and the noise it made was one of the most terrifying things I've ever heard. We got up and started looking out windows, as best we could through the rain.

I got around to the small window at the end of the living room and saw much of our big, lush, beautiful tree laying in the street. Thank God it was in the street and not on our house.

Everyone was out on the street in the light rain. Fire trucks showed up quickly because a power line was laying in the street. People were mourning gutters, windshields, fences, porches, boats, roofs, etc. Timothy and I were and are unspeakably thankful that nothing on our corner was damaged.

One neighbor said he checked the weather and "the worst is yet to come." I've never ever ever been afraid of storms before, but I was afraid that night. Every time the sky lit up I'd wake up and listen for thunder to determine if it was coming closer. It was crazy.

Just before we went back inside to try to sleep (ha!) Timothy decided to move the cars further up the driveway. He got in mine and as soon as he turned it on Misty Edwards shouted at him "as in the days of Noah so it will be in the days of the coming of the Son of Man ..." I half expected a voice to boom from the heavens, "This has been a public service announcement from the Omega."

Because as we walked up and down the block talking to people and surveying the damage and trying to shake the horrifying noise from my memory our conversation, every few minutes, would fall silent and one of us would admit, "It's only going to get worse."

"And you will hear of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not troubled; for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet. For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. And there will be famines, pestilences, and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of sorrows." Matthew 24:6-8

"For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now. Not only that, but we also who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for the adoption, the redemption of our body." Romans 8:22-23

conversation

I got to hang out with Jen for a bit after the service last night. She's headed out to CO for the summer, early Saturday morning. *tear*

Jen's one of those wonderful people who seems to just pop in and out of your life every so often to give you a little boost. A little reminder of what you're doing and probably a little reminder of why too.

We talked about how expensive Starbucks is because you really pay for the experience and the logo more than you do for the coffee. We talked about pre-ground coffee being of the devil. Like dancing.

We talked about simple things like our siblings and lofty ideals like vacations.

We talked about the expression of Christianity in the west versus the rest of the world. We talked about "to whom much is given much will be required." We talked about persecution and how deeply our own convictions really go. We talked about pain. We talked about stained glass. We talked about Constantine, but that's between her and I.

We talked about the rapture and the tribulation. We talked about 2 Thessalonians and Matthew 24. We talked about seals and trumpets and bowls and famines and cyclones and earthquakes. We talked about the next couple decades.

Then we went to my (new) house and watched The Star of Bethlehem. If you haven't seen this yet, let me know and you can come over some time. We talked about Revelation and astrology and constellations. We talked about omnipotence and eternity. We talked about Adam in the garden and came up with some really good questions for Jesus.

What the heck is firmament anyway?

How do we know the names of the constellations? Did You name them or did we? You talk about them in Job, but if You named them who did You tell their names to? Did Adam know them? Did Adam name the animals in the garden after them? Which bear came first: the animal or the constellation?

How many species were on the ark with Noah? You said two of every kind, so are there more now than there were B.C.?

How do you do that thing were Old Testament prophecy regards both the immediate future of the prophet in his time, and the end of days?

And then it was late and Jen left.

let's rebel

Sitting in my family's Luthern-ish church last week for my great-grandma's funeral was enlightening as usual. I think those of us at exciting churches should visit these kinds of churches once in a while. I'm convinced that the greatest threat to the western church isn't porn or pot, it's ourselves.

I sat as one of the co-pastors read a poem or a cute story or something and looked at the small, stained-glass windows. I like stained glass. It's pretty. I couldn't help but wonder, though, what a Chinese Christian would think of it. Or a 2nd-century Roman Christian. We're so blessed with our religious freedoms.

But what do we do with our religious freedoms? Cloister? Offend people?

Her husband shared stories about grandma (which I hope to get to tomorrow), and then the wife co-pastor got up to close the service. "Our Christian faith was made for times like these."

Yes, she did.

"Our Christian faith was made for times like these." Times like what? Death? Sorrow? This is what faith is for? Christ shed the glories of heaven, came to earth as a man, overcame every temptation, suffered the most excruciating death known to humankind, visited hell, rose from the dead, and left for heaven after charging His followers with the responsibility of loving the gospel more than their own lives ... for this? To help us get over the grief of temporarily losing a loved one? To comfort me? God gives to each a "measure of faith" so we can believe that Jesus is the risen Messiah and feel better at a funeral?

Maybe I've been listening to too much of Zahnd's Not for Sissies series lately, or maybe it has something to do with my reading Watchman Nee and Jesus Freaks and VOM at the same time, but I have to respectfully disagree that this is what our Christian faith was "made" for.

Yes there is comfort, and yes there is hope. Yes, because of my faith and the faith I know my grandma had on earth, I didn't shed a tear. Yes, my faith made the day easier to get through, but that is not what it's for.

My Christian faith is for redemption. My redemption, the redemption of my family and friends, the redemption of my neighborhood and my community, and ultimately the redemption of creation.

My Christian faith is for transformation. My transformation, the transformation of my family and friends, the transformation of my neighborhood and my community, and ultimately the transformation of creation. I died in Adam, but by faith I was crucified in Christ and I am only now become what I was meant to be.

My Christian faith is for revolution. A revolution that will love in the midst of hate, give in the midst of greed, and serve in the midst of selfishness. A revolution that will restore the supernatural and the spiritual to the gospel, and exalt the Cross over comfort.

following

(Go here.)


Unrelated:
It's been Lessons in Leadership for me this week. Most recently, in the art of following.

Because you can't have authority until you learn to submit to authority, right? The wonderful cycle of submitting to authority and using authority just never ends. I can honestly say that being in a leadership role has probably made me a much better follower.

And the lessons in following have extended to others recently. Not just any "others," either (that rolls off the tongue, huh?) - some of my dearest others. Which has had me really mulling and praying over it for days. I've come to one conclusion, so here it is, my be-a-good-follower tip of the day:

Philippians 2:14//Do all things without complaining or disputing.

That's not a heavy-handed order. I really think that's the call to discipleship and servanthood (which is what this whole thing is about anyway). If we're serving God, then we're serving the people He puts over us, and I think our relationships with those people should be marked by Philippians 2:14. Joke, suggest, emote, share, muse ... just don't complain and don't argue.

the leader

Jesus is so nice to me.

We've been kind of arguing lately. By arguing I mean I've been asking Him questions - one in particular - and He's been very quiet. I know that there's a reason, but sometimes a straight answer to a simple question would just be nice. Sometimes I'd really like to not grow through any experience or anything like that, and just get a simple answer to a simple question. Then I get frustrated and it's kind of like arguing.

I'm not going to elaborate because it would sound like a shallow plea for pity, but that's the emotion in my heart right now. Love struggling to be patient through serious frustration. That's the backdrop.

In the meantime, at work, I've been asked to condense my notes on 20 books that I've read in the past year into one-page summaries. Bullet points and a couple good quotes. "Talking points," they've been called. Can do.

It's been an interesting opportunity to review some really good material that I went through rather quickly. Transforming Church, Breakout Churches, Good to Great, The Contrarian's Guide to Leadership... Really good stuff. Most of it is about leadership and/or ministry, so naturally I'm reviewing it all through the eyes of a youth leader.

About a week into this project I am convinced I'm a terrible leader. Surveying the general condition of those things which I have been placed in leadership of, I've had a couple of really bad evenings in the past week (and sure, part of that is PMS, but not all of it). (Here again, I forbid you from tempting my ego by posting anything to the contrary in the comments. Don't make me disable the comments again.)

So I've been praying for myself lately, which alerted me to potentially part of my problem: I hardly ever pray for myself. That's not to brag - because it's really not a very good thing - it's just the way I am. I talk to Holy Spirit throughout the day, so when it's "prayer time," I just forget to pray for myself. But if I'm not praying for me on a regular basis, who is?

*crickets*

Exactly.

So I've been praying for myself lately, that God would help me in this and make me a better leader. We were talking about it on the way to work this morning and He solved it for me. "You're not the leader, Lex, I am. You're just one of the first ones in line."

(And, of course, He was talking about my specific situation. Considering the global body of Christ over the past 2000 years, I'm one of the last in line.)

And that did it for me. I'm just one of the first ones in line. I follow the people ahead of me as they follow Jesus, and the people behind me do the same. If someone ahead of me veers away from the path Jesus is laying out, then it's my responsibility to look up and stay on the right path. That's so simple. This is going to sound silly, but Jesus is brilliant.

the body

"I AM."

Sometimes I forget that's God speaking, not me.

I remember hearing or reading a story recently about a young Asian athlete. This girl messed up at - I believe - an Olympic competition. Through her tears immediately afterward, she could be heard to lament not for her own loss or pain, but for the embarrassment and the disappointment she brought to her family and her country.

It's vague, I know, but the moral I perceived stuck with me.

Americans are very individualistic people. Anyone can see why; individualism sells more stuff. When you, personally, are supposed to be the most beautiful, the most affluent, the smartest, the most desired, etc. it doesn't matter if your best friend has one you can borrow or use - you need one for yourself. Whatever it is. Individualism, ego, and pride sell stuff.

I wonder sometimes how much of that mentality has corrupted the Church in America. I think it's worse than we initially nod our heads at. I think we're so used to it that we think it's normal, and we don't always realize how self-focused we really are. I think that's why that story struck me, because that would not have been the source of my despair.

Yes, I know that God knew me before the foundations of the world. I know that He numbers the hairs on my head, and is familiar with every tear I've ever cried. I know. And it's important to know, and to teach, that God knows us personally and loves us personally.

Sometimes, though ... I wonder if we know it too much.

What about the body of Christ? What about the disciples not knowing want because each gave what he had to the Church, and the Church gave to each what he needed? What about bearing one another's burdens? I don't think that applies only to prayer.

Sometimes I wonder if we become so focused on our ministries, our callings, our anointings, and what God is doing in and through us as individuals that we don't see ourselves as part of the body. We know we are, but do we really believe it?

Do we wonder how our driving habits impact our neighbors' impressions of the Church? Do we wonder how we could serve our local church more? When we have a little extra money, do we indulge ourselves or do we ask God who to give it to?

Do we see ourselves as the body of Christ first and individuals second, or vise versa? Because isn't that servanthood? Isn't that being a "slave of all?" Putting everyone - even if it's "everyone" collectively - before self?