light

Have I mentioned lately that the burden of need in the world is too much for me to bear?

I'm unspeakably excited about the house we're closing on in three days, but I caught myself today thinking, "For $100,000 more (not that we have $100,000 more) we could've taken the one down the street, set up a soup kitchen in the basement, and carved out a community garden in the empty lot next door." I know the house we're getting is the one God wants us in, and I love it - but I'm overwhelmed at the same time.

I read this NYT article today. It's long, but read it all the way to the end. When you get to the end, let me know if your heart screams the same thing mine did and we'll go to Haiti together to find that woman. I almost cried.

Then I saw this. I can't tell you how much I want to go. I'm a huge fan of B:WM and I think I heard my bike scream "Amen!" from the apartment across town. I'd give a few toes to go if God said it was okay.

I started to think about which organizations can get more food to more people. Which can dig more wells for the money. Which do what they do in the name of Love. How many children can we afford to adopt tomorrow? How many clicks on Free Rice does it take to feed a nation? How do you go about setting up an orphanage in Africa? Or freeing women who are forced into prostitution in India?

We've determined to stay home this summer and work in the mission field God has planted us in, but $1 can buy clean water for one person for a whole year in Africa. There's too much.

And then I started thinking about the Church in the last days. The earth groans. There will be earthquakes and famines and war. It's not going to get any better. Is the Church going to get any better? We need to. It's nobody's responsibility more than it is ours.

"Feed My sheep."

"Love your neighbor as yourself."

"Bear one another's burdens."

Are we ready for this? Are we lightening our load so we can take on each others? Are we setting up systems for disaster relief the next time it strikes? Are we teaching people? Do we love enough?

Can we love enough? Should we try to love more? There are days when I feel like I can't bear it as it is, and I'm not really bearing anything at all.

I know that His yoke is easy and His burden light and I should just keep doing whatever I can do and not ... what? Not concern myself with the rest of it? Not let it bother me? I'm not trying to let it bother me, but I bump into an article and my heart feels like lead the rest of the day.

I should pray and trust God but I know it's not going away.

I feel like if I could sit somewhere and cry enough it would help somehow.

the assurance of Jesus

I'm reading this book at work called Saving God's Green Earth. It's really good. I'm convicted already. The author constantly refers to Romans 1 - creation testifying of a Creator. He shares the following story. In honor of Earth Day, and because I enjoyed the story myself, I will now, in turn, share it with you:

"While I had come to the realization that there was a Creator, I still struggled to accept that Jesus was the Son of God and that God was the Creator.

"At that time, Nancy and I were living on our family's ranch in California, raising our kids and enjoying life. Nancy came into a relationship with Christ a few years before and was fervently praying for me to come into a full understanding of who Jesus really was (sic).

"Before I found my way to the mountainside that evening, Nancy took me to a musical at a church about an hour away from our ranch. During the musical, there was a multi-media presentation that made a lasting impact on me.

"Now, you must realize that this was in the mid 1970s, and the cutting edge of media in those days were two slide projects that faded in and out simultaneously.

"During the presentation, the choir performed a song taken from Psalm 42 where David was crying out to the Lord, 'As the deer pants for water, so my soul longs for you.' As they were singing this song, the slide projectors would fade in and out images of nature. However, the projector kept returning often to this one picture of a doe with this deep, penetrating gaze.

"For me, the deer represented Jesus - and that image grabbed me like no other. I was so taken by that picture, realizing that the longing in my heart was to come to know God and know for sure that Jesus was God. I wanted to know it was really true.

"Upon returning to our ranch that evening, I was so bothered by that picture that I was unable to sleep. So, I returned to the same knoll on the mountain where I had sat when I was 16. As I approached the knoll, I noticed there was a log there in a clearing. After I sat on the log, I began praying, 'God, if You're real and Jesus is Your Son, would You reveal Yourself to me?'

"As I was sitting on the log praying, I heard footsteps behind me. I was terrified. I had lived in the mountains most of my life and it wasn't unusual for me to take walks in the night and hear strange noises. But on this particular night, I was terrified. I was asking God to come and reveal Himself to me - and in my heart and my mind I felt like God was walking up behind me, so much so that I was afraid to turn around.

"With this paralyzing fear keeping me firmly seated on the log, I hardly moved when a deer stepped within an arm's reach over the log I was sitting on. She walked over the log, moved around in front of me and turned, looking me square in the eyes, just the same way the deer had stared at me throughout that multi-media presentation.

"It was as if He was saying, 'I'm here and I'm real - and I'm answering your prayer.' I no longer needed any more assurance that Jesus was (sic) God's Son. I knew it deep in my soul."

(no title)

I sat this evening and watched this blank text box for probably 20 minutes. I can't think of anything worth your time, or anything I'm qualified to write. But I wanted you to know I tried.

groaning

I thought this interesting:

"GRANTS PASS, Ore. (AP) - Scientists listening to underwater microphones have detected an unusual swarm of earthquakes off central Oregon, something that often happens before a volcanic eruption - except there are no volcanoes in the area.

"There have been more than 600 quakes over the past 10 days in a basin 150 miles southwest of Newport. The biggest was magnitude 5.4, and two others were more than magnitude 5.0, OSU reported.

"On the hydrophones, the quakes sound like low thunder and are unlike anything scientists have heard in 17 years of listening."

Hmm. You can read the whole article here.

Romans 8:22//For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now.

shirking

I'm going to do that thing where I blog about other blogs. Yup, deal with it. My reasoning is two-fold:
1. I've been out-done the past couple days. I can admit it.
2. I only have 9 minutes left of my lunch break.


True Love from FC Post on Vimeo.

That is a song/presentation that Fellowship Church in Texas did this past Resurrection Sunday. I dig the song and I really like how they used motion graphics over the video clips. The painting thing - eh.

Church Marketing Sucks interviewed Mark from Missio Dei church, which is part of the "New Monasticism" movement taking shape. (The interview reminded me of an interesting conversation we've been having at the CMS Lab.) I've not done enough looking into New Monasticism to really comment intelligently on it, but so far I like what I've seen. It seems to be mixing my affinity for DIY punk-house life with Jesus. Dare to dream.

One of their projects is the Jesus Manifesto, which is also right up my proverbial alley.

CMS also quoted an interesting take on some branding research featuring the masters of branding, Apple.

Remember the One Prayer video that was up a couple days ago? The website has been launched. I can't quite describe the feeling I got as I scrolled down the long list of churches who have already signed up to be a part of this. Suffice to say it was warm, and a little fuzzy.

The Plow posted a two-part interview with Matt Gilkerson about porn in our society. It's good ... in a really bad sort of way. Part 1. Part 2.

And Seth Godin, marketing guru, thinks I'm cool 'cause I use Firefox.

That should keep you busy.

our house

We're going to try this whole "closing on a house" thing again! With the same house!

The attorneys couldn't make productive phone calls, so Timothy stopped by the house on Saturday afternoon to chat with the owners and see what's really been going on. Is this really their decision, or is this the realtor? Do they know what their realtor is doing? Why didn't their attorney talk to them?
It turns out everyone was a little irritated at everyone else for strange miscommunications. Timothy and Doug (owner guy) talked for a while, both got to feeling better about each other, and Doug said he'd talk to his wife and give us a call.

Doug called about an hour and a half ago. Closing is April 28th! We're going to sign an "as is" contract for the price we agreed on initially, and they're going to give us the cash we need to fix the concrete at closing!

I feel so much better about the thing just because we actually got to talk to the people selling the house. I know realtor's are good and often necessary, but I think the next time we want to buy a house we're going to stop by one afternoon and talk to the people selling it (assuming they're living in it) first.

And I will say I'm relieved (I feel like I've been holding my breath for a month), but not really excited. The way you naturally develop a kind of innate urge to avoid something that hurt you in the past. I'm sure it will all work out this time since we've been through the inspection and we've talked to the sellers ... it's just this strange, irrational uneasiness. Or maybe I'm nervous because we really are about to buy a house this time. I dunno.

Regardless, save Saturday May 3rd for our closing/house-warming party!

prayer

I talked very (very) briefly this past Friday night about prayer. Christians know they're supposed to pray. We know most of the scripture that urges us to pray. We know most of the clever analogies. Most of us would agree that we need to pray more.

And yet I contend that we (myself included) don't understand the heights and depths of the power of prayer. Case in point:

One of the last teaching sessions of a seminar I attended yesterday was on Effective Ministry. The young lady that led the "class" was, at one point, exhorting people to get involved and do something with their teenagers - whether it involved Global Expeditions or not. She made a comment about how she loves prayer, prayer is invaluable, it's powerful, we need to pray pray pray ... but "if we do nothing, nothing gets done."

And at first I was with her. Christians need to mobilize. We need to get out there and put our money where our mouths are. Yes. "Faith without works is dead."

Later yesterday evening, however, I suddenly couldn't decide if prayer fell into the "faith" category or the "works" category. At best, now, I think it's maybe a little bit of both, but it struck me how low an opinion we - Spirit-filled, prayer-advocating Christians - have of prayer.

We say it's invaluable and it's powerful and there's nothing like it and we need to do it more, but do we secretly believe that spending two weeks on the mission field actually accomplishes more than two weeks in a prayer room would? Do we pray in hope and go in faith, instead of the other way around?

The power of prayer is as limitless as our God who calls us to it. I can pray for people I will never meet. I can pray for people who no Christian may ever meet. I can pray for situations larger than I could ever begin to remedy. What would it be like if a dozen people who wanted to go on a missions trip pooled their resources to send three of them while the other nine got together every day of the trip to pray for those who were sent?

Because prayer is not necessarily easy, but we treat it, sometimes, like the warm-up for the "real" work. In James, the Bible tells us that it's the fervent prayers that "avail much." Webster defines fervent as "exhibiting or marked by great intensity of feeling." The Young's Literal version calls it a supplication, which is "to ask for earnestly and humbly."

That's difficult to do. You can't fake fervency with God. A fervent supplication necessitates genuine intensity, earnestness and humility - all of which also have to be solicited from God. I wonder if we can pray fervently for anything without first petitioning God for His heart on the matter ... and from that place, begin to pray.

I realize that someone has to go. I just thought it strange the way we sometimes very subtly communicate our relatively low opinion of prayer.

expelled

In theaters April 18th.

peter vs. paul

Who do you think would win in a fist fight?

Just kidding (although my money would be on Paul 'cause we know that guy can take a lickin' and keep on ... ya). I am on Peter and Paul, but the "vs." was spontaneous and I suddenly had an image of a boxing ring ... over-explaining myself. Moving on:

I've been reading Galatians over and over again recently. Paul writes about his - um - relationship with Peter. It seems, now a days, like we hear a lot more about Paul than Peter. Back then, though, were people like, "Paul's the Peter to the Gentiles!" 'cause Peter was first?

The thing that really struck me was that they both had very similar, clearly defined ministries, but Paul never actually met Jesus in the flesh. Peter followed him around for three years; Paul only got knocked off his ass (pun intended!) once ... by a bright light and a voice no one else could hear.

Naturally I relate more to Paul in this situation, having never met Jesus in the flesh, but what would that have been like? Maybe this is Christian Musing 101, but I'm just getting to it now and it's amazing. I've fallen asleep for the past several nights thinking about Peter and Jesus.

What was it like to follow Jesus around every day, and every day wonder if today is the day we're going to over-throw the Roman empire? What was it like to sit and eat a casual meal with Jesus? Was there ever a casual meal with Jesus? Did the action ever die down? What was that like? What was it like after Jesus calmed the storm at sea and it was just the 13 of you in a boat together? What did He smell like? How big were His feet? Did He eat fast? What do His eyes look like?

It's hard to think about it and not fall in love.

weird

Better is One Day (a Chris Tomlin song):
How lovely is Your dwelling place, oh Lord Almighty,
For my soul longs and even faints for You
Oh, here my heart is satisfied within Your presence
I sing beneath the shadow of Your wings

Better is one day in Your courts
Better is one day in Your house
Better is one day in Your courts
Than thousands elsewhere

One thing I ask, and I would seek: to see Your beauty
To find You in the place Your glory dwells
One thing I ask and I would seek: to see Your beauty
To find You in the place Your glory dwells

My heart and flesh cry out
For You, the Living God
Your Spirit's water to my soul
I've tasted, and I've seen
Come once again to me
I will draw near to You


I am not a Chris Tomlin fan. I don't really know which songs are Chris Tomlin songs. I don't even really like this song. Because I know - let the record show - that this is a cheesy, old song. It was on it's way out of the hip Christian music scene three years ago when I was on my way in. And that was three years ago. I know that this is not cool.

The Wednesday Night Worship Duo (I didn't mean for that to sound so rad, but I went back and capitalized it 'cause it did. Now I'm thinking about the cover of their first release ... which would be on colored vinyl, of course.) used this song tonight.

I picked this song for the pre-service worship extravaganza at my wedding (laced with sarcasm ... if you were there, you know) too.

I would like to here reiterate that I know this song is lame. I know. It's an old, boring song. If there are teenagers reading, I promise we will not do this song on a Friday night.

But the worship team at the church I was at the night I received the Holy Spirit and really got slapped upside the head by God, also used this song. And for some reason - musical muscle memory perhaps - it is ingrained in my spirit.

Because I can very clearly remember standing in the third row from the back, just right of the center isle (just in front of the elevated sound booth with the ugly brown fabric), when they did this song. And everyone was really into it, although I'm sure there were a few who knew it was cheesy then too.

A couple hundred people stood around the room in various bodily positions of worship and declared God's glory and I - "Christian" for all of probably five or six days - stood there thinking, "a thousand? Really?" I was sure it was nothing more than (bad) poetry because the "courts" are usually outside the place everyone really wants to be anyway, and one day compared to a thousand ... I mean a thousand. That's almost three years.

Not to mention "elsewhere" is pretty broad - you're telling me that one day outside the pearly gates is better than three years in, say, Grand Camen? Fiji? All expenses paid? Four-star luxury suit? One day in God's yard is better than that?

I suppose I sound sarcastic now, but I wasn't then. I was genuinely wondering if this thing I'd signed up for was that good at the end of the rainbow. And I can very clearly remember the first time the One on the throne spoke clearly to my unassuming, curious heart because all He said was "Yes" and I was there.