i'm okay to talk about it now

Without crying at you. I know how awkward it is when I cry at you.

We're not getting the house.

The inspector found a bunch of problems. Many were little, two were big.

1. There's water in the basement. The back, cement patio is slanted toward the house, so water builds up and leaks in. The drywall going into the basement is as saturated as it can be. Fixing the problem means pouring concrete under the existing patio to slant it the other way, replacing the drywall by the back door, and removing the mold in the basement.

2. The bathroom is in similar condition. Grout was not maintained between the bathroom tiles, so the drywall around the shower is soaked as well. If you push the tiles, the wall caves in a bit. It's bad. It means tearing it all out and replacing the drywall and tile (which is all over the bathroom).

We said we'd take care of the little stuff if the sellers can lower the price so we can get the big stuff fixed when the weather permits. They refused. (And I just found out their realtor made a comment to ours about how they can't understand why we can't "work out" this stuff.)

So we canceled the appraisal this morning, canceled the insurance quote, and informed the landlord that we probably won't be moving out at the end of the month. And I just signed a form to cancel our contract with the sellers. We'll get our earnest money back, but we're out several hundred for the inspection and the attorney review.

And we're going to look at a couple new ones tomorrow.

I'm okay. I cried for about a minute, but I've been more confused about it than anything else - trying to figure out where God was in all this. We thought we were hearing from Him. Were we wrong? Were we robbed via free will? Is there a miracle coming still? I wish I knew, but I figure:

If we were wrong, His mercies are new every morning and He turns all things to good.
If we were robbed, our enemy must repay seven-fold.
If there's a miracle still on the horizon, we're reminded it's not by our strength.

I can say all this and sound really spiritual now because my husband deterred me from calling down plagues Moses-style on 118 Wisconsin last night. Everything's cool.