i suck, alright? geeze.

I started to post a comment on Holy Cow's blog, and it got long. You can get to him here, but most of the post was this video:



Okay. Maybe it's just me. Maybe it's just me because I work part-time in a church and I'm really involved in ministry and really into the Christian thing. But - and maybe it's just me - I'm getting kind of tired of hearing this, honestly.

Jim and Casper was pretty revolutionary. All of the Barna studies leading up to it, and that came to follow, were pretty ground-breaking. News of the first dozen churches across the country to hold public meetings and apologize for not "being Christian" was encouraging. All the blogs and videos and books and articles are perhaps, though, getting counter-productive.

And maybe it's just me that feels like I've heard this a million times. If a Christian out there hasn't heard that Christians in America don't love people like Jesus wants us to, by all means: be rocked by the message.

At some point, though, we need to get over the revelation and do something. Right now it sounds like the world, that is hostile toward God's people anyway, shouting, "Hypocrites! Jerks!" etc. and us going "You're right! We suck!" I feel like we're just feeding the lie.

Because strains of it are true: there are Christians who are not living godly lives. But it's just not true that "most Christians" are bad people. The good ones simply don't make the news, and they usually go unnoticed in our day to day lives because they're just nice people. We need to do good - probably more good than we are right now, sure - and point to it when the accusations fly. After that, we need to shut up and fix ourselves - not make documentaries about what horrible people we are.

I'm also getting really tired of the holier-than-thou attitude that this kind of stuff fosters within the Church. You've got a group of "real" Christians who create and/or use the articles and videos and books to puff themselves up because they know what's really wrong with all those other, lesser Christians.

It's not everyone. Don't hear what I'm not saying. I'm not saying that, by default, the authors of these works are arrogant. I wholeheartedly believe that most of the original authors and producers are genuine people who want to help the body of Christ see where she needs help. It's the conversation that goes on about them, in Christian circles, that is so often laced with self-righteousness. I know because I've been there. I've used some of it to put myself on a pedestal over other believers. I've since been knocked off said pedestal, but I wasn't up there alone.

So if you haven't heard it before, now you have. A segment of the body of Christ is failing to love the way Christ loves and serve the way Christ calls us to serve. Sit back for a moment and let it apply to you too, because it probably does. Agree with your adversary quickly. Okay? You good? Get it?

Now let's move on before this becomes our legacy.

random thought about Sampson

Pastor talked about Sampson this past Sunday and I had a side-thought.

"And the Angel of the LORD appeared to the woman and said to her, 'Indeed now, you are barren and have borne no children, but you shall conceive and bear a son. Now therefore, please be careful not to drink wine or similar drink, and not to eat anything unclean. For behold, you shall conceive and bear a son. And no razor shall come upon his head, for the child shall be a Nazirite to God from the womb; and he shall begin to deliver Israel out of the hand of the Philistines.'" (Judges 13:3-5)

Sampson was set apart to God before he was even conceived. He was to fulfill the requirements of a Nazirite his entire life, which seems to start at the moment his mother becomes pregnant.

It's not earth shattering, and I think most of us know that God is not for abortion. I guess I just never thought of the story of Sampson as a plug for "life begins at conception."

That's all.

two cents

Switch is almost done with a teaching series on giving called Two Cents. Timothy kicked it off with tithes and offerings two weeks ago, and this past Friday I got to talk to the students a little more about the widow and her two mites and going beyond 10% into revolutionary giving.

Which means that about a week ago I was staring at Mark 12, waiting for something really, really good to happen. And it did. It doesn't always (maybe I'm not always listening), but it did last week. I love that. I love getting to talk to the students about something that the Lord recently moved through me. It's just more fun.

I even got some thoughtful facial responses from my husband and some of the older students, so I thought I'd share my little revelation with you all. Maybe this is common place and you already know this, but I think it's cool.

Mark 12:44//"... for they all put in out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty put in all that she had, her whole livelihood." (Context)

That phrase struck me, "out of her poverty." If I tell you that out of God's mercy you are saved that means you're saved because of God's mercy. If someone tells you that out of compassion they bought a homeless man dinner, it means that a man got dinner because of their compassion.

So when Jesus says, "out of her poverty she put in all that she had," does that mean that she put in all that she had because of her poverty? Would this same woman in a better financial situation have given out of her abundance like all the others?

I think the surface message here what I've heard a thousand times: What really matters is not how much you have to give, but your heart in giving. Jesus is definitely telling us that. But I think Jesus is also reemphasizing the first of the beatitudes:

Matthew 5:3//"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

I tend to muse on virtual paper when I'm preparing a message and just type paragraphs. Sometimes I read them verbatim on Friday nights, sometimes I read pieces. Usually I just glance at it long enough to remember what I was thinking and speak it however it comes out. Last week I wrote this:

"Many of us have probably heard the sermon about giving. Even the sermon about giving above and beyond the 10%. Some of us have even decided to go for it and gotten really excited about it from the safety of somewhere away from our cash. We still don't do it, though, because we're not giving out of our poverty. We still think that our money matters, so it's impossible to part with it in any sort of revolutionary way."

Of course money does matter. You need to pay your bills, and it takes money to get the gospel out there. The specific bills that are in your wallet, or represented by the number on your bank statement, though, are not crucial.

God is not impressed by anyone's bank account.

news from lakeland

Todd Bentley, of Fresh Fire Ministries, as been at the helm of the Lakeland "Revival" for months, until now.

On August 12, the Board of Directors at Fresh Fire announced that Todd and his wife had officially separated after months of marriage counseling. Three days later, a new letter was posted on the ministry's website that included the following:

We wish to acknowledge, however, that since our last statement from the Fresh Fire Board of Directors, we have discovered new information revealing that Todd Bentley has entered into an unhealthy relationship on an emotional level with a female member of his staff. In light of this new information and in consultation with his leaders and advisors, Todd Bentley has agreed to step down from his position on the Board of Directors and to refrain from all public ministry for a season to receive counsel in his personal life.

The activities in Lakeland have been hotly debated for months, as this latest news is now. I'm going to continue to keep my opinion on the whole thing to myself out of fear. There is plenty of opinion out there on Lakeland and Todd if you want it.

I'm going to ask that we take a minute and pray for Todd and his family. This is one of those crucial moments where the Church gets to show the world what she's made of. Do we walk on and over people who are experiencing hardship? Do we argue among ourselves, throwing "I told you so's" and "Don't touch God's anointed's" back and forth?

Or do we rally together - aware that our enemy is well seasoned in the art of divide-and-conquer, and pray for people?

it doesn't even rile my emotions anymore

Jude 16-19//These are grumblers, complainers, walking according to their own lusts; and they mouth great swelling words, flattering people to gain advantage. But you, beloved, remember the words which were spoken before by the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ: how they told you that there would be mockers in the last time who would walk according to their own ungodly lusts. These are sensual persons, who cause divisions, not having the Spirit.

Bound4Life Chicago

"Jesus, I plead Your blood over my sins and the sins of my nation. God, end abortion and bring revival to America."

I glance down at the now familiar piece of red duct tape and draw a deep breath. I know, in part, what the next three hours will bring. Tears. Faith. Anger. Applause. Sore feet. Frustration. Restlessness. Hecklers. And a more intimate connection to the heart that saw the world before it was. I watch the piece of tape between my fingers and draw a deep breath just to put it off for another moment.

It's surprising and comforting how securely the tape holds to your face. You know it's not letting go, which you know means you can't let go. There's no turning back now, and my flesh hates me in this moment. It hates me more than fasting and more than early morning prayer walks and more than those comfortable moments that my husband ruins when he casually asks if I want to pray for a while.

But the tape clings, and even my flesh knows that pulling it off is going to hurt so we might as well.

And then my spirit takes over and I remember why I'm here.

I stand in the throne room of heaven and ask for Grace. I ask for Love. I ask for Forgiveness and Mercy. I ask that the women who leave this parking lot without their children would not become bitter, that they would know His mercy. I ask for boys to become men and fathers, fathers who defend their families. I ask for mother hens. I ask for doctors and nurses to admit what they already know is true and walk out. I ask for righteous judges in our nation's highest court. I ask for a spirit of adoption on God's Church.

One man approaches the fence to talk to our spokesperson. He and his wife have four children, whom he works two full-time jobs to provide for. She's pregnant, and in spite of him, refuses to spare the child. He had nearly talked her out of it last night, but when they called the clinic to cancel the apointment the people at the clinic told them no. She'd already taken some medication to ease the procedure and it was too late. He found out today that was a lie. He's considering divorce because he can't believe his wife would do this.

Twenty minutes before we left another frustrated father went back into the clinic to try to talk his girlfriend out of the abortion. We had to leave before any of them came back out.

The frustration was nearly overpowering. I couldn't get Isaiah 59 out of my head, and if I could have yelled with tape on my mouth I would have been.

"Behold, the LORD's hand is not shortened that it cannot save, nor His ear heavy that He cannot hear." I admit it: I got upset. "Is Your hand short that You cannot save?!" I know: free will and all that, but it had been two hours. I was restless and a little sore and frustrated.

And for all of that, probably a little closer to the heart that saw the world before it was.

worship team perks

Being on the Church in the Word Sunday morning worship team has it's perks. One of those perks is Bill Fetter.

Bill, for those of you who don't know, is the guitarist waaaay over on the right (your right, "house right"). He's the one smiling all the time. He and his wife are also on the Altar Team. You know the one.

Bill has a way with emails. That's one of the perks. These Worship Team emails are generally kept under wraps. They contain insanity not fit for the general population, so we tend to not leak them ... for your own safety. This one, though, is too good to keep quiet.

Tami (Remember Tami Hoban? Pastor's wife? Worship leader? She's kind of average height, red hair, really cute children? Oh ya.) has been gone forever at conferences and vacations. You know. Living like a rock star. Typical. Well she's supposed to be back in town sometime soon here, so Bill wrote her a Welcome Back email, which, of course, CC-ed the rest of the Team. It's like that. No secrets among us.

Here you go:

Hi Tami!

I wanted to take this time to welcome you back from your conference and vacation.
WELCOME HOME! WE MISSED YOU!

We all are excited to hear some of the things that you experienced at the conference and see some pictures from vacation.

I would also like to thank Mike and Dennis for the fantastic job they did while you were out being refreshed and renewed.

Things went very well and we all continued to grow in our craft and worship. However, you may find things a bit different due to some events that took place.

I'm not saying anything bad happened but as you know once a certain volume of water has passed under a bridge the bridge is never the same.

The one positive thing is that there were no arrests or jail time, and any lingering allegations of anything are just the whispers of the bitterly defeated, whining about something. Oh Boo Hoo all the hair on my arms have been burned off,.....Oh boo Hoo I can't hear out my left ear,.. Oh boo Hoo I walk with a limp now....... WOW what cry babies..... But things always work out for the best FOR the WINNERS!!!! and not the LOSERS..... Thats right babies the WINNERS write the HISTORY! READ IT AND WEEP! IN YOUR FACE!!!

Oh ...sorry... Back to the welcome home stuff!

We missed you but we became more of a cohesive team in your absents, caring and sharing.

Marching Band Sunday was a wonderful event that gave us all a chance to play John Phillip Sousa's version of Amazing Grace/ Break Free a new twist on worship that I think the congregation really hooked on to. The Uniforms were pretty cool too.

However the following weeks version of Fire Fall Down using real fire was a strong concept with a hard hitting message but getting everyone back in their seats after the fire dept. left was a problem.

Oh , by the way the new paisley/ plaid carpet looks cool.

And we used the chairs from the back of the church to replace the ones that got kind of wrecked in front. We did get some lawn chairs from a yard sale and they seem to be working fine.

Well in all we are so happy to have you back ready to roll. You will look excellent as do all the ladies on the worship team in our new South L.A. dew ragg rapper lids. Yours says
"Sup, YO Super TEEEEEEEEE Owwwww!" on the front. We wanted to keep yours a bit conservative, you know, being the team leader and Pastors wife and all.

Mikes scar is hardly noticeable and none of us really like wearing socks anyway. SO all is Good!

Remember this week is eye patch Sunday we have them ready for the first 300 in the building, yours has glitter on it, (of course) and the rest of us will just wear our basic patches that we can easily change from one eye to the other between songs.

As a side note I have the live chickens ready for release. I put them in Pastors office with a bunch of food to keep them quiet for the week. It should be fine there are only 72. I couldn't get the other 28 in they kept flopping out so I put them in the ladies bathroom.

So that is that, welcome back
See Ya!
Bill

insight for your morning

Richard Halverson, former Chaplain of the United States Senate:

In the beginning the church was a fellowship of men and women centering on the living Christ. Then the church moved to Greece, where it became a philosophy. Then it moved to Rome, where it became an institution. Next, it moved to Europe, where it became a culture. And, finally, it moved to America, where it became an enterprise.